Agents of Smorrk

 "Mechanical Urk" (model, 10" high)

I can never remember if its two K's or two R's. 

I Guess I Have To Write About Gary Con X

Ok, I  went to this event, so I guess I should write a word or two. I signed up to run 20 hours of games. On Friday from noon to four I ran "The Towering Inferno of Death II" for these people:

My friend also showed and someone's mom who never played any games before also played. A total of eight peeps. (one of them was a girl, she left the table to change her outfit). They rode a giant tongue, had a conversation with a pool of living blood and answered all eight of the Megamumu's questions.

On the next day, from noon to four I ran another group of people through yet another event, called "You Break It, You Bought It". My friend's friend showed up with his daughters. This event wrapped when one of the players was able to get his toes cleaned by a cyber laser cat from another dimension.

Here is one of the many non-persona characters they met.

So, after two complete days, fifteen newbies played CNC. This would mean my fan base exploded by a 25%!

A hearty THANKS to all those who played! Without all of you my endeavors would just be...you know. I'll be at the event next year to run more games!

All the stupid stuff was expunged...not sure what I was thinking. Funny? Notsomuch.

Abominations on a Stick

This Crypts-N-Creepies adventure has everything...bad food, haggling, whips, chains and...the voice of Carl Sagan. Slip on the comfy persona of Doilie von Fluffercuff, Troof or Ra Keta. Failure is only one of many ways to mess this one up! (Maybe it's time to redefine "success").

The Bait. Shiny.

Some of the interesting characters you may meet:

I can say no more! Sign up! Or not!

Gary Con X! Saturday! Noon! Bring your Significant others!

Get Your Asbestos Shirty! Towering Inferno Returns to Gary Con X

Can you survive the Towering Inferno of Death II?

Time to get your asbestos shirty and greet the Monks of Murkey! A lucky few are chosen to test themselves in this gauntlet of flaming ultra-violence. Will you survive or become a high grade fertilizer? This smoking hot adventure is set in the schwartzpunk fantasy system of Crypts-N-Creepies and open to all makes of players.

Here is one of the eight pre-generated personas.

Possible event from adventure.

Monk of Murkey showing wares. I can say no more.

The event schedule. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

I PROMISE if you do not have fun I will beat myself with a stick*.

30 Hours at Gary Con IX 2017

Gary Con is an annual event (I misspelled "annual", my spellchecker wondered if I meant "anal" instead) held in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin. Garycon.com says "Welcome to one of the best kept secrets in gaming! Gary Con is an annual game convention held every March in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin. It honors the memory of the Father of Role Playing Games, E. Gygax".

Two years ago I stuck my toe into the water and ran the ignominious "Towering Inferno of Death", an adventure using the non-award winning Crypts-N-Creepies game system. I missed it the year before last, this time I did not miss the deadline to sign up to run games for the 2017 event. Instead of a singular event, I would be running four.

I rolled up to the Grand Geneva around 11 am, this gave me an hour before my first event. I zipped through the vendor area and met Lou Zocchi selling platonic and non-platonic solids. He wore a bow tie, not to be hip, but I imagine he's probably been wearing one since the 60's. A very nice gentlemen, although I was hoping he would have more than few 0-9 d20's for sale. They were all tepid colors, only slightly brighter than the covers of the worn out sci-fi novels and 70's era Strategy & Tactics he was selling on another table. Across from him someone was selling wall decor, I snapped a pic of the one that caught my eye featuring the Millennium Falcon.

Being here brought back vague memories of my friend Mike the Mangler’s dad driving us in 1980 to Gen Con XIII at Parkside. I recall buying a Grenadier Demogorgon in the Dungeon from the plastic bins behind the counter. I went to another before MECCA with Mike Lange and ran a “Poseidon Adventure” event using the Mach game system. I remember playing Trivial Pursuit with the Blumes. It was not a fun experience, they knew the answer to every freaking question. But I digress.

I was set up in Evergreen 1 for my first event “Psst...Wanna get small?”  I knew from last time getting people to play an unknown game with a dumb name was going to be tough. When I asked people to play they would even say “I’m here to play D&D”. Ouch. Four people signed up online, only two showed, both had the first name “James”. Both excellent players and as far as I could tell enjoyed being shrunk down and fighting for their lives in a matchbox.

My second event was kind of a breather, basically I brought my 70’s era Cosmic Encounter game and had slots for players.  I ended up with three, so the four of us played two games until 8 pm. I lugged all my stuff back to the car. A bit after 8 I ran into James (from my earlier game) who was sitting down to play QUAGS Fratboys Vs. Crabnado. There was five of us, myself, James, the GM and a younger couple. The genre is akin to B-movie and meant to be very light hearted. I felt like I was totally out of my element, first I knew nothing about frat boys and the couple there were like these amazing stand-up roll players. They were constantly in character and  making up the funniest and strangest stuff on the spot, constantly until midnight. It was not a “game” but an amazing experience. I simply have no words.

I went back to my hotel and climbed into bed. Where I was staying was very practical, eventually I got used to the steady hum of the various machines on the wall of my room and buried elsewhere in the complex. I got up early and had a complimentary breakfast, while sipping my Starbucks singles enhanced beverage I put final touches into my big event that I would be running at noon. I got to the parking lot at 7:30 am and manhandled my bins and map cases up to Evergreen 3. E3 was much better than E1, it was slightly less loud and there was a window on the wall letting in natural light. Additionally, I was running the noon even from the exact same table, so no moving camp.

Suffice it to say my 8 am game went belly up (You break it...you bought it). The cynic in me would write that it’s frustrating to be at an event where creative people gather to celebrate uniqueness and be spurned by “I’m here to play D&D” syndrome. Fortunately, it’s a less pressing voice in my consciousness, I decided to enjoy what comes and put my energy into creating content and not complaining. So far this has been a good deal. However, I was worried that the four or five who had signed up for my last event, the “big one” might not show. I walked around and studied what other groups were doing and bought two books in the vendor’s room. I had a nice chat with Allan from Black Blade about the Tomb of Horrors. Fifteen to noon I headed up to Evergreen 3.

At noon one player had showed. By 10 after it was still just the two of us. This morning while trying to hustle players they would ask what they would be playing. Going out into the hall now, the answer to that question would be “Uh...it’s a game I wrote called Blind. The premise is that you don’t know what kind of game you're in”. Throw on to this that the game lasted six hours. I could feel my skin getting thicker. Several steps out into the hall I accosted a young couple and asked “looking for a game?” Their answer was a quick yes. I paused. “A game that I can’t tell you about and lasts until 6”? I pointed into the room at the table. I made a rapid circuit of the halls, nothing. Three it was then. I had put a lot into this game over the last 5 months, every scrap of it was built from scratch. The setting required research. The artwork was as important as the mechanics. It was a game I had wanted to make for a few years, GCIX was the artificial deadline I needed to get this thing done.

It turned out that the four of us were exactly the right people to play this game. As far as I am concerned it was one of the best, maybe even the best, RPG experience I’ve been part of. I will talk about what went down in a few days over on the BLIND blog.

To wrap up: I plan on going next year. Crypts-N-Creepies is always going to be that funny game no one’s heard of. BLIND is that other game I can’t tell you much about and takes six hours to play. There will never be accolades or big fat checks. All I need are a few brave souls to make these things happen.  Thank you James, James, Scott, Jess and Jason!

Back to my regular game and to the 2.0 version of C-N-C. Plus the usual stuff here and more chapters of God's Workbench!

You Break It...You Bought It!

Real crypt openers give the tourist infested White Market a wide berth. But a few days of climbing out of pits and listening at doors wears down even the most veteran plunderers. Ah! The market awaits. You have a few sodiums jingling in your pocket and those sun dried meat strips sure look good. Never mind the whole place is awash in the cheapest trash this side of Mordor. What harm is there in laughing at the “Big Svensen” t-shirts, sand-globes and mustache steins? Live a little! Why look here’s a replica of Eve L. Hay Ed’s Cursed Crystal Skull. Look at the detail of the mystic runes and the simulated anti-life glow. It even seems to radiate pure evil and the tag says it’s only 1 mercury piece...

Crypt openers will have literally 240 minutes of non-stop fun in this adventure I like to call…”You Break It...You Bought It!”. The event is scheduled for 8 am on Saturday. Your chair awaits!

One of the many interesting characters in C-N-C

Matchbook Adventure Awaits!

Within Adventurers Row it's dark. This transition means less that there is a lack of light, but more of the coming shift change. False prophets exchange places with scantily clad Enticers. The aroma of glandular exertion is smothered by the acrid smell of unpolished metal. Make no mistake: the bright sunlight has never stopped a blade from stealing a persona’s PHP, but night seems to throw a few more negatives into the mix. It is said that all trails of blood start and end at the entrance of the Gran Roach. Never mind the devils head facade of cracked azure tile, or the zig zag patterns around the door which are cleverly placed to lead your eye away from multiple closed circuit crystal balls. A robed figure approaches you, stops close enough so that you can hear her whisper “pssst...wanna get small?”. You look down to see a slim hand holding a partially open matchbook. You don’t have to look inside, you know the law regarding these matters. The knot in your back from sleeping on the ground connects directly with your neck and you nod without thinking. Before you can entertain second thoughts you’re already shrinking and being sucked into the deadly labyrinth that awaits you in the Arcanists palm...

This 4 hour romp pits tiny versions of yourselves against the terror of a palm sized crypt. I'll be your Crypt Lord and run suckers contestants through this tiny abattoir at Gary Con Friday the 24th at 12 noon. Two have already signed up, There are slots for 6 more. Don't make me grab people at random, like last year...

BTW, I'll put up info on the other C-N-C adventure in a few days. No takers on this or BLIND, yet...

Shameless Promotion: Blind RPG

Its official. Blind debuts at Gary Con IX.

Information at: http://blindrpg.blogspot.com/

The print version available spring 2017. Includes rules and 3 experiences.

Stat-less Characters for The Game With No Name

These are prototypes, basically a test run of the layout and form factor. One of the concepts of this game experience is the rules are kept hidden from the players. As such, character information will be presented in this format using text descriptions instead of stats and percentages. The colored chips indicate how character damage will be represented. Players will need to rely on the referee's descriptions to decide just how wounded they are. The rules part of the game is shaping up nicely, but to insure secrecy I have no other comments on that matter.

I am in the process of writing a number of modules, these will also be getting a similar card treatment. There are a number of advantages. A key one is that because they are not being presented in a linear narrative, it will be easier to rearrange them, thus increasing player agency.

The Game With No Name debuts in a few short months at Gary Con and in print.

Plan B

There is going to be a lot of new stuff here in the coming months. The V1 version of C-N-C is currently being upgraded to V2.  I have been saving old grocery bags for years to make the pages:

Text is nonsense

This is a sample page layout. There will be a couple dozen different page backgrounds. I have a very sophisticated method for generating these:

I draw designs, print them on the bags..

...and use this rig and my phone to photograph them. I want the game to look like a Hobo's notebook. Some of you have seen the art that is being created, here is a typical example of a Gargo-Rat:

"Want us to open some doors?"

Because I am also a model builder I am building physical models of the illustrations, that will become images in the book.  Here is a worshiper of Ishtar that's next up to get photo-shopped:

She's 1/12 scale, I'll make some sort of background and "work my magic".

So, imagine these guys, but bigger and (I was going to say "cooler", but stopped myself). I made these way back.  I really like Manitoba on the far left.

I have lots of stuff to do...here is a "Rending Sucker" that will get turned into a model and photographed.

This is the Lulu cover...Absolutely no stupid character groups on the front. The gist is, there will be V2 coming (I apologize if your a Londoner). A whole new section on Pith, the sandbox stuff will all be rewritten and put in to make campaigns and I have a system worked out I call "Thumbtrixes". New substance and the fluffy bells and whistles, but I PROMISE ON A STACK OF BIBLES it will still be the game you have always known and loved.

Let's not forget the great adventures coming out of Gary Con.

There is also The Game With No Name. Normally I don't get excited (I have people for that), but I am excited about this. Making this has opened a very interesting door. 

All of this will be in print. End of message. That is all. Carry on.

The Game With No Name

IMAGINE sitting down, character in hand and starting an adventure with no knowledge of what genre you're in. 

Maybe you’re Orphan Black watching herself jump off a train platform. Or Agent Cooper dreaming your first visit from the Giant. Or John McClane stepping out of the room to change your clothes on Christmas Eve.

In the beginning they had no idea what kind of story they were in. And neither will you. 

Your story could be like any (or none) of these and just like them you won’t know what game you're in. Conspiracy? Magic? Espionage? Pulp? Adventure? Sci-Fi? Super Hero? Cthulian? Thriller? Super Science? Time Travel? Horror? Something New? My lips are sealed. 

Are you up for a challenge? This will be the most interesting game you will ever play.

Welcome to The Game With No Name...

The Game With No Name debuts next March at Gary Con. Once I reveal the setting and play commences it’s up to the players to figure out what they're up against. Can they prevail? 

The print version will be released during Gary Con and will include the game system and three unique game experiences.  Each is designed for a group of 6 and will play out in 2-4 game sessions. (Note, the G-Con version is a 6 hour tournament styled event).

UPDATE: Stat-less Characters for The Game With No Name

These are prototypes, basically a test run of the layout and form factor. One of the concepts of this game experience is the rules are kept hidden from the players. As such, character information will be presented in this format using text descriptions instead of stats and percentages. The colored chips indicate how character damage will be represented. Players will need to rely on the referee's descriptions to decide just how wounded they are. The rules part of the game is shaping up nicely, but to insure secrecy I have no other comments on that matter.

I am in the process of writing a number of modules, these will also be getting a similar card treatment. There are a number of advantages. A key one is that because they are not being presented in a linear narrative, it will be easier to rearrange them, thus increasing player agency.


The Game With No Name debuts in a few short months at Gary Con and in print.

Crypt Openers Storm the Mighty Towering Inferno of Death at Gary Con VII

This is the debut of C-N-C at Gary Con.  There were no trumpets, flower petals or limos.

 

I knew being an unknown would sharply reduce my chances of filling up seats for my adventure.  However, my experience from the day before was comforting as people would scramble on the hour to find a chair before the music stopped.

 

 

I was very surprised when I met my friend Donn (AKA the "Filth") who drove down from an undisclosed location to play.  My game was scheduled to run at 1:00 pm on table 22 in the predominately miniatures room.  At 12:30 table 22 was still choked with a massive model of a castle.  It turned out, putting this beast away would take up an hour, so it was time for "plan B".  I accosted one of the friendly G-Con representatives who found me an open table....in the VIP room.

 

 

I knew this could spell doom for my adventure...I had one person sign up online and I had the Filth, but two players a proper adventure do not make.  They suggested playing two personas each, but well I basically said no.  Being in the VIP room would mean not being exposed to the traffic flow that would allow me to snare a poor sucker(s) to play, so it was time to improvise.  the "Filth" bribed the Bard to sing songs titled "Table seven needs players" and I grabbed the green Players Needed sign and went foraging.  I found one player in the restaurant, another sitting in the hall.  Four bodies....that's all I needed.

 

 

 

And so...here we all are.  Near the fire place is "Gary's" table, to the right J. Ward is running a "Girls Only" game.  (Is that genius or...?).  The "Filth" sits to my immediate left playing Boom Boom the Lohg Yogi-Rabbi.  In black, is my player (who signed up online) Mark playing an Arcanist named Klee Va Va Klee.  The woman next to him is Kathryn, playing Grognarr, a Slashmonger.  On my right is Kevin, playing Jool Smoothbore a Welf Sneak.  (I like how C-N-C) makes my spell checker light up like a summer storm).

 

 

My adventure was profusely embellished with top notch illustrations, like this.  Here you can see the Missive Monks of Murkey.  I went to art school, can you tell?

 

 

Here is an action shot of the adventure.  Not sure what is going on...  I do recall being asked at some point if I had ever drunk my own sweat....

 

 

Another fantastic image from the game, this is a "Teleportal".

 

 

I think the Crypt Openers are reading the Inferno Rhyme to see what this particular room is all about (....shhhh.....I think it's DEATH).  Can you believe, at one point I thought I would be overloaded with 8 players?

 

 

Successful and meritorious completion of the TIoD garners this certificate.  Many thanks to those who played....I know I had a great time, indications were that everyone else did as well!  Hope to see all 4 of you next year.....

 

(Note, the TIoD adventure module will be digitized and added to Swag Product soon....)

 

Do Not Mock the Mock-up: Gary Con VII

Here I will summarize my Gary Con experience:

The road to Gary Con was fraught with possible danger...and......Cheese.

I did stop to go "wee" at some point on highway 50.  Fortunately I did not have any coins on hand...perhaps if I had...well then I could have fallen victim to "Try all 4". 

 

 

I was welcomed by this sign.  (Why is there a dot inside the O?  A confused half-umlaut, perhaps?)

 

I have never attended before.  Literally, as soon as I had my badge, Bruce (the DM in red) asked me to join his game.  We  fought a bunch of lizard guys.  Isn't wearing a red shirt asking for trouble?   Thank you, Bruce! 

 

 

Here are some of the menu options. Obviously, the fruit is fake, bringing organic matter such as this for consumption to a game convention would be utter madness.  The real consumables are shown wrapped in protective plastic.

 

I played Metamorphosis Alpha that evening....we were given this really cool map.  There was a snafu, however.  The GM started an hour early, so when the real players showed, I got bumped.

Gary's typewriter made an appearance.  Well, if you look closely it reads "...used a portable Royal typewriter like this one..."  The Smokes might be his.

Detail of the Parker Bros rejection letter for "Dungeon".  Although, it's not technically a rejection, it talks about how they are just too busy and can't look at anything.  It's a pre-rejection letter.

In the men's restroom Star Wars "Muzak" was been played through speakers above the urinals.  I did not check to see if the urinal cakes had Disney logos on them.

At 8am on Saturday, I joined this group to play D&D 3.5.  I had fun.  Reading all the complex rules was a little like having a spike slowly pushed through my head.

This was downstairs in the miniatures room.  Typical of the event.  The day was billed as "Hawaiian Shirt Day".

 

Another Hawaiian shirt.  Or is it Fez day?  I forget.

 

 

And finally, your Basement Leader mocking a mock-up of Sheldon while a mock Roman centurion looks on.  Looking forward to next year! 

 

A review of the Towering Inferno of Death will follow.  Stay tuned.