Wednesday, March 4, 2020

Flaca Oaxaca: The Worlds 1st Crypts-N-Creepies Cosplay

Meet Grace (one of my long time players and one of the few who reached 7th grid fair and square) as her alter ego "Flo" in CNC. She has been playing for over ten years. I think she has one of the original hardbacks. I recall her telling me she was going to "dress up" as her persona a long time back. I think I both forgot and didn't believe her. 

I dug out her persona sheet. Most impressive. I can still picture her creative use of retching and vomiting.

I believe these are from C2E2, last weekend. It is really quite amazing to see. I really have no words. Bravo!

I leave you with some random Quiz notes.
Looking forward to our next game!

Tuesday, February 25, 2020

Agents of Smorrk

 "Mechanical Urk" (model, 10" high)

I can never remember if its two K's or two R's. 

I have this idea about how the new CNC 2nd edition game rules will look. (Yes, this mammoth work has been testing now for a couple of years). One of the things I wanted was to physically build things from the game and photograph them. So here we are. I'll be using this image for promotional purposes to "lure" players to sign up to play during GCXII in a few weeks. Of course I know that my sign-ups are only playing because they are hoping that my table is next to one of those restricted gender D&D games.

This is my original ink illustration. Did this last year, pencil and Micron.

The model is armature wire, some wood feet (in one is a magnet, to help it stand) gray craft foam and a plastic lid. The eye is one of those clear encased floating eye novelty things, it's mounted off center to a dowel that sticks out of the back. When the dowel is turned, the pupil rotates off center, thus I can easily control where the eye is looking. A rigid model does not allow for fine tuning while photographing.

Normally I spend lots of time building models, I forced myself to slap this together using hot glue. The bits are from my scrap bin. I would say I had invested 3 hours up to this point.

Here is the back, you can see the dowel sticking out that turns the eye. Notice the milk caps, ball point pen and Lego Bionicle parts. Oh, and the Batman's head is it's "naughty bits".

Next, I sprayed the whole thing, the undersides mostly, flat black.

I brush painted the rest, like a big stage prop. Big brush, up and down strokes. Lastly, I dry-brushed with bronze.

I built this smashed wall as a background.

I thought this was too busy. So I built the other thing and used some colored lights. Enjoy!

BTW, my games at GCXII:

This is a snip from last week. Two of the games are CNC ("Agents of Smorkk" and "Fooglee Quest").
Registration is still on hold, currently both those are wide open. Believe it or not, the BLIND games are filling up.

Monday, February 10, 2020

Crack Town Adventures: Session 10

Once the “Yon of Ofaz” finished, the newest chapter of my Crypts-N-Creepies milieu began. Welcome to “Crack Town Adventures”. It’s Been a while, let’s dive in.

These game sessions started many months ago and so thus far have not been recorded here. For clarity, we will start with what went down from last week's game. In a future post I’ll attempt to summarize what went before. We will call this game session # 10, which is a guess.

For last  Sunday's PEOG (Proverbial Evening Of Gaming) on February 9th, we had two newbies, so let’s start with them:

Mr. Crusty (played by Clara)
Meet Mr. Crusty, a 7 ft. Tarn. Technically, Clara is not a newbie to RPG's, although thoroughly questioned, either we could not learn or she could not recall any details of these recent experiences.

Yorbin (played by Makeda)
Meet Yorbin, a 7 ft. Jring. Mr. Crusty is in fact her pet, which she rescued as a child. When she left her wealthy family her mom had a heart attack (3d6 dam, I think we rolled a 13).

Klomp (played by Mark).
For this PEOG our regulars also showed. Mark is playing Klomp a Kortluskian Thurd Urk.

Gorgonzola (played by Moise).
Moise has been playing since the “Yon of Ofaz”, his current character is Gorgonzola (a Peribold) with a small tree growing out of his head. (Note this is an older pic, I think he was in the water closet when I took the other pics).

Doop (played by Caleb).
Caleb has also been playing since the “Yon of Ofaz”, his current character is Doop (a Bulukia) who smokes cigarettes.

Crack Town
There are a number of other members in the troupe: Fidus (played by Griffin), Smudge (played by Michael), Perch (played by Justina), Marylyn Mindless (played by Grace), Aurelios (played by Micah) and finally Rock (played by Emma). More on them once the Crack Town tab is added.

Krums/Doop's Scoop/Crack Town
Our intrepid group has returned to Crack Town from the underground labyrinth of secret crypts and geomorphic villages beneath Krumms. The owner of Krumms, Spunderella Larue must leave Crack Town in order to fulfill some important species oriented obligation. Before leaving with a band of armor-clad Warfs, she entrusts the management of her establishment (the bar known as Krumms) to Doop and Marylyn Mindless. With that she leaves, promising to return in a few months.

The troupe, led by Doop decide that Krums should be renamed Doop's Scoop, complete with animated neon sign. The interior is redecorated to mirror the Cuddly Crab, however they decide to leave the myriad of closed circuit crystal orbs (which constantly broadcast Sportsball games of the past, present and future), the Juke box (filled with Gargorats that play tiny instruments) and the electro-mechanical arcade game called "Strike the Dromedary".

The next day a graceful white winged Vey carriage floats down from the heavens and alights in blasted crater park. Seated inside are two visitors from the far off Cloudlands above the Whirlette Islands. We meet the tall and graceful Jring named Yorbin and her childhood per "Mr. Crusty"..

The Duos Backstory: Yorbin has chosen to leave her wealthy home because the tiny little Furby-sized Tarn she rescued is now as big as a house. She has been keeping her pet hidden from the parents...but now it's time to leave the roost. Her childhood pet is called "Mr. Crusty". The duo decides to leave the puffy soft land of high living behind. Traveling upwards into the high currents of windy ways far above the Urth, they rocket along, seeing very little because they are so high up. On the way down they glimpse a vast forest of Fir like trees and scrub. As they get closer they are able to see Crack Town. The little hill looks out of place in this landscape (as it should, Crack Town magically appears in a new location every 3d6 days).

Back to the present: Several members of the troupe see this magnificent Vey carriage land. Doop, Klomp and Gorgonzola all climb down from the higher side of Crack Town and gather around the newbies. They meet the duo and after some brief exchanges convince the them to come up to Doops's Scoop and spend some money. There is also slight interest in the ancient electro-mechanical game "Strike the Dromedary". After some more chit chat the group is interrupted by a hume sized figure, completely covered in matted hair jumping wildly up an down outside a nearby window.

This excitable creature has a metal band and lock around it, as it jumps about muffle speech can be heard. After Klomp broke a pair of bolt cutters on the lock, he fipped it off using brute muscle power. Removal of the band only revealed more hair, the creature begged to be fed, because it was really hungry. After pulling a keg of ale into its mouth it pleaded for more. Someone suggested the Yek, but Gorgonzola quickly squashed that idea. "How about Mr. Crusty"? The creature really got excited about the thought of having the giant Tarn in its mouth. As it started chasing Mr. Crusty around the bar, Yorbin made an attempt to grab her childhood pet and fly away, but sadly missed her Nimbality check (flying indoors is tricky). The creature is near Mr. Crusty, it's mouth open... Oh, I forgot, at some point somebody (Klomp?) cut one of the creatures legs off...and it ate that. It considered eating itself.

Marilyn Mindless of the bar formerly know as Krum's.
The black pawn on it's side is the creature.
See everyone on Sunday, February 16th!

Tuesday, July 9, 2019

Crack Town: Cursed, Blessed or just Tectonically Challenged?

Welcome to Crack Town!

Crack Town
Few have seen this tiny village which is located on grassy knoll.  This is no surprise as the hill is enchanted to relocate itself every 3d6 days. Moreover, it's also invisible to outsiders. Maybe you know a friend of a friend who can help you find it or maybe you'll stumble upon it through blind luck. For those few who are "in the know" it's home to a number of unique shops well worth visiting.

The bean shaped knoll measures approximately 600’ x 450’ and is typically about 40 feet at its apex. Thirty structures are interconnected by winding paths under a canopy of ancient trees. Such notable denizens include Clogg Narr, Orbo the Great, the Crack In The Hill Gang and the Mighty Ishtar/Glaaarg Temple. As the name suggests a crack runs north to south dividing the hill cleanly into two sections. Once the hill comes to rest in a new locale each side of the hill magically adjusts its height relative to the other half based on the morality of the area. If Crack Town appears in Urkey, the hill side with Glaaargs temple rises higher. If Crack Town ends up in Doi, then the other hill section with Ishtars temple on it will be higher. Foundations mystically reconstitute themselves so the structures remain upright. Basements and related underground areas are constantly in flux. It has even been known from time to time that one's basement may be completely replaced with entrances to underground areas native to the region.

Here is a quick overview if you happen to visiting or accidentally blunder onto it while taking the zlog out for a walk:

The hill itself has a gentle roll to it. A rich green static grass grows everywhere, flegstone footpaths connect each structure. The buildings are Croftperson style and the gay colors kept in good repair. It has a chirpy small town feel to it that is in no way fake or spooky. On the north end is the mighty temple of Ishtar/Glaaarg constructed on the only exposed outcroppings of the finest rail rock. As noted earlier the temple straddles the crack that divides the hill and in fact the temple is also split along this fault allowing the two sections to slide up and down. It is home to a host of acolyte Yogi-Rabbis in training who wear reversible robes. Located in the hills center is the smart looking park of blasted statuary. Arrayed around the park are a number of unique businesses including Grimm Sweets, Emporium O and Slee Roth the Curd carver. On the other side of the crack is the knolls one place of lodging and drink, the wildly popular Krums Inn. On the south end of the mound is located the guild hall of CITHG sneaks guild hall run by Bozo Whippet. All in all approximately 140 beings call this place home.

Crack Town is the new home base for the current summer campaign, already two sessions old. More on those as soon as I get them written!

PDF link to the Crack Town map HERE

Wednesday, April 3, 2019

My Ticket To Nerd Hell

I found this in my wallet the other day. If you know what this is, you are going to Nerd Hell too.

If this image doesn’t conjure up images of sad Men’s Wearhouse Minmaxers, then you will end up in one of the cooler Nerd Hells. Like one for train spotters, bounders or post Gladiator Zimmer groupies. These charnel houses of pain will be horrible in their own special way, to be sure. It will be kinda like the show Friends, except that you are on fire. And talking about EMD GP 645’s isn’t so bad. When bits of you fall smoking to the ground one of the other Nerds will be kind enough to at least kick it into the ditch.

Before I knew this thing was still in my wallet, I had gotten used to the idea that I would go to the Nerd Hell for game designers. In some ways there is little distinction between being here and there sometimes. Now, that’s all gone. I’ll never find out if a Harkonnen Master Spy in the d20 version of Dune can have more than 14 informants. You have no idea how sad this makes me. Look, there are d3 tears running down my face.

I’m listening to Gladiator. It’s really terrible, not as bad as the actual movie, but still. Do not click on the link below. It will not be fun like

Now you've done it. I can't wait to ask you if you liked Orion Rising or Sting of the Spider better. I promise I’ll pick up your arm when it falls off.

PS: I went to Gary Con XI. I ran 22 hrs of C-N-C/Blind. It was fun.

Sunday, December 9, 2018

"Yon of Ofaz Session # 12

"Someone fears me?...Oh Boy!"

The Troupe
This game took place during the Thanksgiving school break and four of the players had not played since the conclusion of session #7 when they first entered the “City of Diamonds”. At the conclusion of session #7 everyone inside the Cyclone Werks eventually fell asleep. When DurBur Duke, Lyn, Squire, Simon and  Robin woke up to start session #8 Chris-Tle, Topper, Fred and Mortimer were already gone. Now that these players are present, we can use a bit of Crypt Lord magic to go back in time a bit and see what happened to them….

Topper’s swarm of 2,999 Beese are having some issues. They have been away a long time. As the time of this separation grows they are more likely to become so weakened that they will start dying. Topper is attuned to this and decides to use her teletransportation ability to get them back to Rubitron before they weaken any further. Chris Tle, Fred and Mortimer (who has Odas ceramic body) decide to travel with the flying hat into the very heart of the “Yon of Ofaz and to the fantastical gleaming city of Rubitron. Topper takes flight during darkness and leads the way followed by her Beese, who in groups of 500 are able to carry one of the other personas. 

This is the first time anyone other than Topper has been inside the ‘Yon itself. They arc up and over the lands below traveling not unlike a supersonic transport. High above they get a birds eye view of the lands between the Cyclone Werks and Rubitron. First they pass over the Aanssk Desert and narrow opening of the “Yon. Beyond this are miles and miles of plain with mountains to the west and broken dead land to the east. The plain ends when they reach a vast lake of slowly burning oil. They start downwards at this point and approach an island jutting up out of the flames made entirely of Red Ruby. They have reached their destination, the city of Rubitron.

The city itself is a dazzling wonder to behold, it rests on a natural oval platform of Ruby which is almost a mile long. On one end is a 1,000 foot diameter golden red ball resting in the city like a giant egg yolk. Around it are thousands of roads, homes and spires of the city. A gigantic arm spirals up from the city's base, holding a glittering Red Ruby palace aloft just over the globe. It is to the highest spire of this palace they are headed. They slow to land on an open area just below the top. The Beese release Mortimer, Chris-Tle and Fred as topper lands gently. 

They notice a glimmering silver and red sky chariot resting on the pad. Huge Swineki guards motion them inside to an elevator. Upwards they glide on polished Red Ruby. At the top they are motioned out into the top chamber into an upward spiraling hallway. They walk slowly past pairs of huge Swineki every five paces. 

The way narrows and turns upward on itself, until they reach the final chamber at the apex. It is a largish chamber suffused in Red light. Not far in front of them is a stern looking Hume resting on a hovering throne of living Beese. She takes the four in quizzically over her long thin nose. Topper knows this person, it is in fact her current master, Tindoro. There is an unknown figure in the room, a thin smartly attired Hume woman. She is clearly both an Arcanist and quite bored. Behind Topper and the troupe stands the largest of the Swineki they have seen so far. 

Tindoro's Spire in Rubitron
There is an awkward silence. Finally Tindoro rasps sweetly, a voice not unlike that of a reptile filtered through Red velvet. 

Tindoro: (to Topper): “Do you have the power source?”
Topper: I do, but it’s somewhere else”
Mild petulance. Another pause. No one has acknowledged the other three personas existence.
Tindoro, sweetly: “Where is it?”
Topper: “...I have it...somewhere”.
Tindoro: “Are you sure?” Sniffs the air mildly. Once more just to make sure. “I smell it near”.
Topper: “What are you going to do with it?”
Tindoro, abruptly the velvet gone: “How dare you question me!”
Things are getting nuclear. A few players pause. Fred, the Slave master thespian of Chef Boy Ar-Dee’s Circus (now defunct) chimes in.
Fred: I like your nose. There seems to be something in the air here about today...maybe something is affecting it?”

This skillful diversionary tactic works, things return to a mild sort of anxiousness. Tindoro seems to let things slide, being a great leader of the realm of Rubitron, it is prudent to let underlings know that she can be mildly flexible. To this end she pulls out a Red Ruby time glass and with a flourish reverses it sending mico-grains of Ruby flowing up into the empty top. 

Tindoro: “You have seven days to bring me the power source. And oh...I sense you will encounter a maleficent being made of water. This creature will appear as harmless, but do not be deceived. It’s goal is to bring disorder and ruination to the lands! If you find this creature, bring it to me. I am tired of this, now begone!”

They are hustled out by the giant Swineki. They are allowed to stay in one of the tower rooms for an OTU (eight hours). The Swineki, who they learn is called Javier is now their personal guard. They also learn the name of the other woman, “Leen Dah”.

During this time Mortimer repairs Oda,the ceramic warrior (killed a few sessions back). After some rest the five (Topper, Oda, Mortimer, Chris-Tle and Javier) are given a lift by Leen Dah on her glimmering sky-chariot back to the Aanssk desert where they find the rest of the troupe in their makeshift “Blorgmobile” (the hovel now equipped with legs) trudging back towards the wall and civilization.

Leen Dah
The sleek sky chariot swings to ground long enough to allow the five passengers to jump out. Mortimer then departs the group heading off for parts unknown. The walking hovel with DurBur Duke, Lyn, Squire, Simon and Robin keeps moving closer to the wall. Topper, Oda, Fred and the Swineki Javier eventually convince DurBur Duke to let them inside. It is quite crowded inside the hovel and there is a lot of discussion about whether to keep going towards the wall or turn around and go back to Rubitron. Everyone is still metamorphosing, the most dramatic being that Squire is now a creature of pure water. Someone recounts the conversation with Tindoro and Squire perks up to say “Someone fears me? Let’s go to Rubitron”. There are a lot of groans regarding this. The troupe seems pretty split on the issue of either leaving or staying. They have come within two miles of the wall. Halfway between lies a large carved rock jutting up. Hiding behind it a number of Gnylls. The Gnylls stay put. The troupe ignores the rock. After much arm twisting and complaining DurBur Duke turns the hovel around and heads back the way they came, back to the “Yon of Ofaz.

The hovel is not a fast mode of transport, so DurBur Duke stows it away inside his mindshack. Several personas have a high ground speed, so they trot, the rest are able to fly. The troupe travels for a full OTU past the homesteads and around the Cyclone Werks to within sight of the narrow opening that leads directly into the “Yon. The mile area in front of the opening is choked by Shroom Poppies, an odd red flower and fungus combination. They are covered in a whiteish powder which rubs off and clings to those on the ground. There is mild concern at first, but the powder is harmless.

Winged White Whale
Suddenly something rather large lurches up from the opening in the distance and is coming towards them on huge wings. The troupe has two full na-nutas before the thing is on them. Personas scurry around both on the ground and in the air. Chris Tle conjures a Wall of Razors hoping the beast will ram it. As the beast gets closer it becomes apparent just how large it is, the wingspan is 300 feet, the white whale body is 120 feet. It’s maw is a full 30 x 40 feet all by itself. It looked as if it were going to dive and molest those on the ground, but it pulls up instead to attack those in the air. The Winged White Whale does impact the Arcanist’s Wall of Razors. Huge strips of flesh are shredded off, however the beast seems to not even notice. Oda is flying (using rocket boots created by DBD) and deliberately powers himself directly into the creepazoids maw. He manages to avoid taking damage from the rows mini-van sized  teeth. Others who make eye contact turn away, realizing that to look into its eyes could prove deadly. The monster swings upward…

Until session 13!

Sunday, December 2, 2018

Slashmonger Fraymaker Extraordinaires

Crypts-n-Creepies is a living game and constantly being updated. A lot of the new stuff is in note form and being swapped into formats for mass release. All of this will become a newer version of the game. I bring you now...

Slashmongers are the masters of fray making. They prefer to leave logic to the likes of soft headed babies who always seem to be putting off the inevitable well-placed spear through an offending thorax. There simply is not an issue which the cold hard edge of sharpened steel cannot solve. Just look at those limp necked part-time crypt openers with their shiny pocket orbs and shrink-wrapped iron rations. They always seem to be under foot squinting into their palms every time giant spikes begin shooting out of the walls! If it weren't for old fashioned feral instincts driven hard by battle drenched hormones, the whole lot of them would be just be another layer of random crypt detritus. Sometimes the slicing of a few random necks, the grinding of few vertebrae or the squelch of cartilage is the most efficient way to cut through all the mumbo jumbo. They may grumble about hugging trees and climate change a little, but once they start pawing through all that swag they will at least step to the side the next time a pit starts opening up under everyone's feet. 

Riskola %
Shank Foddre
As Species*
Chisel Chest
Anvil Biter
Rubber Neck
“Lord of Dissected Body Parts”*
80 baby!

Slashmonger 7th Grid Title Generator


Ruckus shows the number of attacks the persona can make each   Na-nuta. Attack’s are made by throwing a d20 and exceeding your foe’s Armor + Nimbality (see “Combat”). Additionally, Ruckas can be used as a defensive action which reduces an attackers chance to land a hit. When used this way adjust the Slashmongers Armor + Nimbality by also adding their current grid factor. Ruckus may be set aside to be used defensively later in a combat na-nuta (in cases when the Slashmonger wins Scroll/Pincer/Ingot). Leftover Ruckus cannot be saved and used in future Na-nutas.

Riskola % is best described as a heap 1% poker chips. The Slashmonger may wager any portion before rolling a percentile die to increase their chance of success (up to 99%). If the result is a fail, the Riskola is simply lost. The Crypt Lord can rule that the expenditure of any Riskola was “Quite Pithy” and if the action is deemed successful the user may roll a d100 and reclaim the number rolled up to the amount spent. At the start of the next PEOG (Proverbial Evening Of Gaming) Riskola automatically resets back to starting number. Riskola may not be used to increase d20 rolls to hit in combat.

Fray Style is a unique form of artistic expression in the art of fray making. Some employ a cross handed grasp in order to spin their weapon windmill style. Some can hock a poisoned luggie on their arrow tip just before release. Still others have appropriated the fancy footwork from a really sick Michael Jackson video. Slashmongers are encouraged to embellish their mundane attack roll with verbose descriptors. This serves to enhance the flavor of the game. If the Slashmonger believes that any one of these embellishments is particularly good during the PEOG, they may (with the Crypt Lord’s guidance) create a Signature Move. The effect should then be recorded on the person’s sheet and can be used again thereafter. (Note, the other professions do not have the same mastery of fray making and instead pick combat moves from a list of “Combat Arts”. This is because they are weak and stupid like spineless worms). Only one Signature Move may be created each PEOG. A Slashmonger may only have as many Signature Moves in their repertoire as they have Force Factors. Use the list below is a guide to create Signature Moves:

Fooglee Shuffle (Attack/Mace)
Hold weapon low while skipping backwards. Follow up with sudden weapon flick under the targets chin followed by reverse action on an arc downward. Weapon should make as much contact as possible. Call out an odd number. If rolled the attack inflicts double damage. If the FS is used subsequently this PEOG the number stays the same.

Mao’s Bow (Attack/Sword)
Engage your opponent in mock resignation. Bow reverently and intone subservience. This will stoke your resolve to thrust your blade further into the imperialist foe’s organs. This is an especially vicious attack against creatures who’s dogma you find particularly inferior to your own. If the CL buys your argument that this is the case gain a bonus to hit equal to your grid factor.

Nitrous Smack (Attack/Sword, hard targets only)
With a an obnoxious flick bounce your weapon off your foe several times as if you were playing them like a snare drum. If you score a hit no damage is inflicted, but your opponent loses one of their attacks for this and the following Na-nuta.

Wee Piggy Feint (Any Attack)
Snort like a pig. Use first the left nostril followed by the right. Now draw energy from your inner Swine-Ka in order to punctuate this exhortation sharply. At the same time feint a high lunging attack. If a hit is scored this means that you were able to stomp on the targets foot for 1d4 PHP damage. More importantly the target must drop any single item of your choice.

Coiled Serpent (Any Weapon/Defence)
In this defence wait for your foes attack by crouching low, both knees above your head. Unwind yourself like a spring when your opponent strikes and attempt to deflect the blow. If successful in repelling this attack you may immediately leap over them and attack from behind with a +2 bonus to hit!

Shazbott’s Flourish (Sword/Attack)
Begin by slowly tracing a rune in the air with your weapon tip. Make a big deal out of it for all to see. Now, cut the rune on the exposed flesh of your foe. When a hit is scored it only inflicts 1d6 php damage (no MP bonuses, or skill). However, it reduces their Force Factors by 1d4. It is rumored that knocking your victims FF to zero wipes out their will to fight...

Iz and Iznott (Bow/Attack)
Become hypersensitive to all that is not the target. By completely blocking this sensory input from your active synapses you will be able to hit the mark. The Crypt Lord will award a bonus based on how well the act of discharge is acted out in front of the assembled group. A bonus to hit may not exceed the users grid factor 

Criss Cross Ricochet (Thrown Staff/Attack)
The staff is lobbed while semi-squat which introduces a disturbing wobble during flight. It will bounce and arc sideways wildly.  On a hit it fouls itself in the victims locomotive appendages. This only inflicts ¼ damage however, the target’s Nimbality is reduced by 4 for 2d4 Na-nutas.
Two Handed Weasel (Grenades/Attack)
This ridiculous throw starts with knees bent. The bomb is launched two handed from below the anus. The thrower gets a +4 bonus to hit. If the result is a miss double the distance off target.

Mono-Handed Loogi (Dagger/Defence)
A copious phlegm ball is hacked up. If a successful Nimbality check is made it can be quickly deposited on the blade. Use the difference of the roll and Nimbality to determine the amount that users “to hit” value is increased.

Dizzgussting Flesh Eater: After a long fray some Slashmongers get a little peckish. And look… freshly spilt organs lying around going to waste. This is the perfect time to think green and use your ability to feast on your foes organs.  Besides, there is something about the expression on your comrades faces when you rip off and choke down a chunk of your foe’s steaming liver. This will affect the members of your group differently. One troupe member will be completely disgusted and your Force Factors to them suffers a minus equal to your grid factor. On the other hand, there is that other trouper that digs the whole thing and is affected exactly the opposite. Both should be chosen at random.

But wait, there’s more. Once the flesh has been consumed there is a chance that it will have one of the following effects:

01-69: YLB-No effect.
70-80: Heals 2d12 PHP. Don’t get used to rolling this one.
81-95: Imbiber affected by random poison (core rules, page 117).
96: Drugged vision. The narrative of this vision is created in alternating sentences by the Crypt Lord and any other player selected at random. This state lasts as long as it takes to construct it in RL. While under its effect the SM is incapacitated and may only sit/sweat/stand/drool/urinate. Some part of this vision know.
97: Diarrhea. Lucky you! The user’s system besieged by constant pressure that must be relieved d4 times at random times during the PEOG. The CL should feel free to select the occurrences in some suitibly random fashion. When one of these comes on the DFE has 2d6 na-nutas to find a suitable offal receptacle for the explosive burst. Each episode lasts 3d6 mi-nutas and the target suffers 1d4 php loss if they do not have some form of entertainment, such as a crystal feed or scroll to distract them.
98: Total Healing. You are instantly healed of all chronic health issues, all curse(s) lifted and all poisons nullified. Your PHP damage is wiped clean. All the bad stuff is purged. Ah, but where does it go?   
99: Vomits up all that gum you ate as a kid: As it exits the oral cavity, compressed gasses in the mass form and cause it to expand. It will then rip itself from the DFE’s oral cavity and take on life, becoming a creapazoid invented on the spot by the Crypt Lord.
00: Gain ability of creature consumed (as delineated by the Crypt Lord).

Is it worth it?

Embrace the Reaper: Most of us find succumbing to death and the state of unbeing troubling. Slashmongers however, get a thrill by pushing their experiences to the edge. It is only natural that in order to enjoy the bounty of existence one should also try a little death. When the user’s body drops to zero PHP they may choose to keep functioning somewhat “normally” instead of collapsing in a useless heap. While “mentally deceased” the Reptilian Brain keeps the physical operations of the lifeless body going. This is simulated by selecting at random any other person to be in control of the Slashmongers body and actions. While in this state their Cerebral Energy, Nimbality and Force Factors are reduced by 75%. Any further damage sustained in this state will leave permanent marks as decided by your friendly Crypt lord. Embrace the Reaper lasts 1 Mi-nuta per grid factor. If the Slashmonger fails to get their PHP above zero before this time elapses they die, like totally for real. There is another issue with ETR, in that 1 in 20 (statistics vary) of Slashmongers like it too much. The randomly designated driver (see above) rolls versus your Insanity Factor to see if your body will resist revivification efforts.

Fire Bad: Fire hot, fire burn. Hot feeling good, crisping flesh bad. No, pain so bad it good, but bad because it make you lose PHP, fire bad. Not bad if you like dancing lights. Fire not bad, fire good. No wait, I’m confused, fire bad? It hurt to think. I stop now. Ha ha, made you look. Set fire to yourself slowly and sustain 1d4 damage on the first Na-nuta, 2d4 on the second, 4d4 on the third and so on. This idiotic spectacle is instantly mesmerizing to all present and they will stop whatever it was they were doing to watch you be consumed by flame.

Gwarrr Parrrrtay: By yelling “Gwarrrr Parrrrtay!” every Slashmonger within earshot is compelled to join the user to join in a spontaneous warrior orgie of feasting, wanton destruction, bad singing, alcohol swilling, profuse sweating and shaft dancing. The user may attempt this once per Proverbial Evening Of Gaming and has a cumulative 5% per grid of attracting revelors. It will be up to the swarthy Crypt Lord to determine just how many warriors come out of the woodwork in the area. Heavy metal is not optional.

Gwarrrr Party Matrix

Cost & Destruction

Desired Effect

2d6 Gn
4d6 Gn
6d6 Gn

Cross index size to find the Gwarrr Party details. They are a way to learn some rumors, heal some PHP and have some other effect as determined by the user (and approved by the CL). Note, if the destruction cost is not paid promptly, assume those affected will take appropriate action against the offending persona.

Rat Brain: You are able to employ your Rat Brain (a smaller organ below the reptilian brain) and lock in any single thought, perception, idea or mood for one PEOG. Once your will on this matter has been determined it cannot be significantly affected by magic, divine or mundane means for the rest of the PEOG. Your standard thinking is otherwise unaffected. Or so they say. 

Pucker Up Wound: Once per combat you may simply ignore the PHP damage of one hit from an opponent by spending a single Ruckus point.

Smash Thing Now: Warriors are creatures of action and lust. They can flip a mental switch and embolden their natural maniacal mistrust of civil society, social order, government and giant carved idols. By focusing this latent energy onto inanimate objects, they are able to summon vast muscular power to topple, smash and otherwise destroy overly large things. It allows the Slashmonger to affect seemingly larger things than their Feat % would normally allow. It goes without saying the Crypt Lord is the final judge on what can be affected. STN can be used a number of times equal to grid factet per PEOG. 

Voice of Command: In battle a warrior may bark out commands and if followed by other player personas they gain a +1 or +5% (as applicable) to carry them out.  Remember that a combat Na-nuta is but 6 seconds long and whatever is said can only be that long.  Commands must be specific, not "attack", but  "Xerocks cut the Donn's leg off" or "Bob jump over that stone idol".

War Host: A Slashmonger is able to call a War Host once each year.  They will attract 1d20 creatures at first grid, 2d20 at second, 4d20 at 3rd and so on. The War master better have a good reason for calling these warriors together or else there will be trouble.

Weapon Lore: The Slashmonger is the explicit bon vivant in the care and maintenance of the tools of military engagement.  All warriors can repair a broken weapon or armor piece in 1 Na-nuta flat if they can roll a d100 equal to or less than ten times their grid factor.  All that is needed maybe are some vine scraps, duct tape, sock, or chewing gum (all the great warriors chew gum).  A warrior is nervous about letting the uninitiated touch their weapons.  Careless handling of these instruments leaves oils behind that can ruin the finish.  True warriors are uncomfortable using the same main weapon as someone else in an adventuring troupe because they will constantly bicker about who's is bigger, longer, thicker, etceteras. Additionally, you are able to weaponize anything you touch. The Crypt Lord will furnish appropriate stats as needed.

Raspy Bar Voice: If you want to make sure that everyone is paying close attention to your words you can speak in low whisper. logically speaking louder and more clearly would seem to make more sense, but you know, this game is kinda whacked. While using this ability people will visibly strain to figure out what you are saying. You may repeat what you are saying as long as you rasp while doing so. It is not possible for any other creature to interrupt while you are speaking thusly until you are finished.

Stalwarts will have noticed that 1st grid Slashmongers PHP "is by species". The PHP base for personas from now on will be done this way to reflect a new logic for the game.

Enjoy and keep on Crypt'n. Creep'n? Ug.