Monday, May 4, 2020

Crack Town Adventures #May 3rd 2020

"Not only am I a fish...I'm small enough to be prepared easily"
Doop, May 3rd, 2020


Our Troupe: ChBaBaCh, Doop, Smudge and Perch.
The Crypt Lord: Ro
Medium: Zoom

I would like to start by quoting a poem by the legendary Kortluskian poet, Alga: 

Oh point avian
Whose pistols are worn
From the friction!

In the last session the troupe has brought their remotely controlled Blasta-Donn back to Crack Town (which they have named Barney). Entering on the western side they crushed Bernie Burnscroot’s small home.

An “Angry Mob” collects and moves towards the players. Smudge, the Dlugg Arcanist, emerges from Doop’s Scoop and joins the troupe. The mob is made up of Sony, Liquidfist, Bernie, Marylin, The Seven Chained Wizards of Rulk, Slim and his Daughter AllyshaSlim is the mayor of the town, he's an old hume and gets around using a chair powered by ograg legs. (Doop notes that this guy must be the most powerful, because “If there's an angry mob, don't bring the guy in the wheelchair”). Bernie kicks off the session by rhetorically asking who is responsible for destroying his home and are they going to pay for it. The troupe explains that they are not responsible, the Blasta-Donn just followed them here and crushed his house(Never-mind the alien spacecraft hidden inside which was hurriedly pushed into Doop’s mindshack before anyone noticed). Slim smooths things over by offering some platitudes and specifically talks about cake, namely “apple strudel with brown things on it”. The mob is getting antsy as this new topic seems to be way off track. Allysha kicks one of the ograg legs under his chair and then in no uncertain terms explains that the troupe needs to obtain various forms of official paperwork from the Mayor's office. At the moment however, the monster needs to be removed from Crack Town immediately. Doop, in a tiny effort to placate the town's folk, opens up the portal to his mind shack and starts pushing out random building materials. Some notice that Marylin's gaze is locked on the opening to the mind shack. Once the random building materials have been pushed out, the troupe minus ChBaBaCh exit Crack Town to decide the next steps in dealing with the new monster pet. While they are puttering about Koko (the Nerd Roper) walks up and asks Perch if he can have Fifi, his pet Gargo-Fu, returned. The huge mutant four armed gargoyle has completely forgotten that there are animals glued to his body. The tiny creature is carefully peeled off. After Koko listens to the group talk about various game shows for a bit, he says “these creratures are stupid”. He drops Fifi to the ground who instantly picks up some mysterious scent and they rush off. Perch retrieves the two baby Garg-Coons from the glue globs still on his body and takes them back to the warren hole where he found them.




Back in Crack Town, ChBaBaCh chats with Marylin, who now is being treated with more caution by the townspeople, probably because her missing eye has been restored. ChBaBaCh (the insect worshiper of Glarrg) suggests that he show her what it's like to fly. This is a meta gaming pretext to fly up and see where Koko has run off to. Smudge gets a tad jealous and uses an Arcanic disc of levitron to catch up to them. ChBaBaCh spots Koko running into the koogle fir trees (on the quiz twice, no less!) as Marylin asks if she and the bug should “go adventuring themselves and just kill the rest of the group”. Marylin notices that ChBaBaCh is a little taken aback even though technically ChBaBaCha has no facial muscles to exhibit this expression. Maybe all this agency has gone to her cybernetic brain. Not sure if it is a joke or not, ChBaBaCh flies back to the troupe kicking around in front of Doop’s new Blasta-Donn. Doop is building armored platforms on its back and Perch is playing with sticks and rocks in a mock battle. Once ChBaBaCh lands, Marylin walks towards Perch, who is startled by this and throws rocks and sticks at Marylin (5 out of 7 attacks are hits, 51 damage total, BTW). The female android doesn't seem too shaken by this and agrees with the rest of the troupe that it is a small price to pay for agency. She tells them that the talk of killing everyone is a joke, and that for the next few days while she is trying out this new agency thing, that she would like to be a part of the group and go adventuring.



Join us next time!

BTW, here is this sessions quiz:
1) What did everyone used to have? (Furbys)
2) What is the scariest thing you will see in an angry mob? (A guy in a wheelchair)
3) Who has Eagle Eyes? (ChBaBaCh)
4) What kind of trees would you find in the Kortluskian forest? (Koogle trees)
5) Name two things ChBaBaCh does not not have? (Facial muscles and a sense of humor)
6) What is the name of the poet who wrote "Oh point avian whose pistols are worn from the friction!"? (Alga)
7) What is today's chant? (Cake! Cake! Cake!)
8) Who wakes up every morning thinking about a part of their body that is missing? (Orbo the Great)
9) Finish this quote: "Not only am I a fish..." (See above)
10) Why would you need parents to sign a waiver? (For their children to be in a game show in which contestants die)

Wednesday, March 4, 2020

Flaca Oaxaca: The Worlds 1st Crypts-N-Creepies Cosplay


Meet Grace (one of my long time players and one of the few who reached 7th grid fair and square) as her alter ego "Flo" in CNC. She has been playing for over ten years. I think she has one of the original hardbacks. I recall her telling me she was going to "dress up" as her persona a long time back. I think I both forgot and didn't believe her. 


I dug out her persona sheet. Most impressive. I can still picture her creative use of retching and vomiting.


I believe these are from C2E2, last weekend. It is really quite amazing to see. I really have no words. Bravo!


I leave you with some random Quiz notes.
Looking forward to our next game!

Tuesday, February 25, 2020

Agents of Smorrk

 "Mechanical Urk" (model, 10" high)

I can never remember if its two K's or two R's. 

I have this idea about how the new CNC 2nd edition game rules will look. (Yes, this mammoth work has been testing now for a couple of years). One of the things I wanted was to physically build things from the game and photograph them. So here we are. I'll be using this image for promotional purposes to "lure" players to sign up to play during GCXII in a few weeks. Of course I know that my sign-ups are only playing because they are hoping that my table is next to one of those restricted gender D&D games.


This is my original ink illustration. Did this last year, pencil and Micron.


The model is armature wire, some wood feet (in one is a magnet, to help it stand) gray craft foam and a plastic lid. The eye is one of those clear encased floating eye novelty things, it's mounted off center to a dowel that sticks out of the back. When the dowel is turned, the pupil rotates off center, thus I can easily control where the eye is looking. A rigid model does not allow for fine tuning while photographing.


Normally I spend lots of time building models, I forced myself to slap this together using hot glue. The bits are from my scrap bin. I would say I had invested 3 hours up to this point.


Here is the back, you can see the dowel sticking out that turns the eye. Notice the milk caps, ball point pen and Lego Bionicle parts. Oh, and the Batman's head is it's "naughty bits".


Next, I sprayed the whole thing, the undersides mostly, flat black.


I brush painted the rest, like a big stage prop. Big brush, up and down strokes. Lastly, I dry-brushed with bronze.


I built this smashed wall as a background.


I thought this was too busy. So I built the other thing and used some colored lights. Enjoy!

BTW, my games at GCXII:


This is a snip from last week. Two of the games are CNC ("Agents of Smorkk" and "Fooglee Quest").
Registration is still on hold, currently both those are wide open. Believe it or not, the BLIND games are filling up.

Monday, February 10, 2020

Crack Town Adventures: Session 10

Once the “Yon of Ofaz” finished, the newest chapter of my Crypts-N-Creepies milieu began. Welcome to “Crack Town Adventures”. It’s Been a while, let’s dive in.

These game sessions started many months ago and so thus far have not been recorded here. For clarity, we will start with what went down from last week's game. In a future post I’ll attempt to summarize what went before. We will call this game session # 10, which is a guess.

For last  Sunday's PEOG (Proverbial Evening Of Gaming) on February 9th, we had two newbies, so let’s start with them:

Mr. Crusty (played by Clara)
Meet Mr. Crusty, a 7 ft. Tarn. Technically, Clara is not a newbie to RPG's, although thoroughly questioned, either we could not learn or she could not recall any details of these recent experiences.

Yorbin (played by Makeda)
Meet Yorbin, a 7 ft. Jring. Mr. Crusty is in fact her pet, which she rescued as a child. When she left her wealthy family her mom had a heart attack (3d6 dam, I think we rolled a 13).

Klomp (played by Mark).
For this PEOG our regulars also showed. Mark is playing Klomp a Kortluskian Thurd Urk.

Gorgonzola (played by Moise).
Moise has been playing since the “Yon of Ofaz”, his current character is Gorgonzola (a Peribold) with a small tree growing out of his head. (Note this is an older pic, I think he was in the water closet when I took the other pics).

Doop (played by Caleb).
Caleb has also been playing since the “Yon of Ofaz”, his current character is Doop (a Bulukia) who smokes cigarettes.


Crack Town
There are a number of other members in the troupe: Fidus (played by Griffin), Smudge (played by Michael), Perch (played by Justina), Marylyn Mindless (played by Grace), Aurelios (played by Micah) and finally Rock (played by Emma). More on them once the Crack Town tab is added.


Krums/Doop's Scoop/Crack Town
Our intrepid group has returned to Crack Town from the underground labyrinth of secret crypts and geomorphic villages beneath Krumms. The owner of Krumms, Spunderella Larue must leave Crack Town in order to fulfill some important species oriented obligation. Before leaving with a band of armor-clad Warfs, she entrusts the management of her establishment (the bar known as Krumms) to Doop and Marylyn Mindless. With that she leaves, promising to return in a few months.



The troupe, led by Doop decide that Krums should be renamed Doop's Scoop, complete with animated neon sign. The interior is redecorated to mirror the Cuddly Crab, however they decide to leave the myriad of closed circuit crystal orbs (which constantly broadcast Sportsball games of the past, present and future), the Juke box (filled with Gargorats that play tiny instruments) and the electro-mechanical arcade game called "Strike the Dromedary".


Ug.
The next day a graceful white winged Vey carriage floats down from the heavens and alights in blasted crater park. Seated inside are two visitors from the far off Cloudlands above the Whirlette Islands. We meet the tall and graceful Jring named Yorbin and her childhood per "Mr. Crusty"..

The Duos Backstory: Yorbin has chosen to leave her wealthy home because the tiny little Furby-sized Tarn she rescued is now as big as a house. She has been keeping her pet hidden from the parents...but now it's time to leave the roost. Her childhood pet is called "Mr. Crusty". The duo decides to leave the puffy soft land of high living behind. Traveling upwards into the high currents of windy ways far above the Urth, they rocket along, seeing very little because they are so high up. On the way down they glimpse a vast forest of Fir like trees and scrub. As they get closer they are able to see Crack Town. The little hill looks out of place in this landscape (as it should, Crack Town magically appears in a new location every 3d6 days).

Back to the present: Several members of the troupe see this magnificent Vey carriage land. Doop, Klomp and Gorgonzola all climb down from the higher side of Crack Town and gather around the newbies. They meet the duo and after some brief exchanges convince the them to come up to Doops's Scoop and spend some money. There is also slight interest in the ancient electro-mechanical game "Strike the Dromedary". After some more chit chat the group is interrupted by a hume sized figure, completely covered in matted hair jumping wildly up an down outside a nearby window.



This excitable creature has a metal band and lock around it, as it jumps about muffle speech can be heard. After Klomp broke a pair of bolt cutters on the lock, he fipped it off using brute muscle power. Removal of the band only revealed more hair, the creature begged to be fed, because it was really hungry. After pulling a keg of ale into its mouth it pleaded for more. Someone suggested the Yek, but Gorgonzola quickly squashed that idea. "How about Mr. Crusty"? The creature really got excited about the thought of having the giant Tarn in its mouth. As it started chasing Mr. Crusty around the bar, Yorbin made an attempt to grab her childhood pet and fly away, but sadly missed her Nimbality check (flying indoors is tricky). The creature is near Mr. Crusty, it's mouth open... Oh, I forgot, at some point somebody (Klomp?) cut one of the creatures legs off...and it ate that. It considered eating itself.


Marilyn Mindless of the bar formerly know as Krum's.
The black pawn on it's side is the creature.
See everyone on Sunday, February 16th!

Tuesday, July 9, 2019

Crack Town: Cursed, Blessed or just Tectonically Challenged?

Welcome to Crack Town!

Crack Town
Few have seen this tiny village which is located on grassy knoll.  This is no surprise as the hill is enchanted to relocate itself every 3d6 days. Moreover, it's also invisible to outsiders. Maybe you know a friend of a friend who can help you find it or maybe you'll stumble upon it through blind luck. For those few who are "in the know" it's home to a number of unique shops well worth visiting.

The bean shaped knoll measures approximately 600’ x 450’ and is typically about 40 feet at its apex. Thirty structures are interconnected by winding paths under a canopy of ancient trees. Such notable denizens include Clogg Narr, Orbo the Great, the Crack In The Hill Gang and the Mighty Ishtar/Glaaarg Temple. As the name suggests a crack runs north to south dividing the hill cleanly into two sections. Once the hill comes to rest in a new locale each side of the hill magically adjusts its height relative to the other half based on the morality of the area. If Crack Town appears in Urkey, the hill side with Glaaargs temple rises higher. If Crack Town ends up in Doi, then the other hill section with Ishtars temple on it will be higher. Foundations mystically reconstitute themselves so the structures remain upright. Basements and related underground areas are constantly in flux. It has even been known from time to time that one's basement may be completely replaced with entrances to underground areas native to the region.

Here is a quick overview if you happen to visiting or accidentally blunder onto it while taking the zlog out for a walk:

The hill itself has a gentle roll to it. A rich green static grass grows everywhere, flegstone footpaths connect each structure. The buildings are Croftperson style and the gay colors kept in good repair. It has a chirpy small town feel to it that is in no way fake or spooky. On the north end is the mighty temple of Ishtar/Glaaarg constructed on the only exposed outcroppings of the finest rail rock. As noted earlier the temple straddles the crack that divides the hill and in fact the temple is also split along this fault allowing the two sections to slide up and down. It is home to a host of acolyte Yogi-Rabbis in training who wear reversible robes. Located in the hills center is the smart looking park of blasted statuary. Arrayed around the park are a number of unique businesses including Grimm Sweets, Emporium O and Slee Roth the Curd carver. On the other side of the crack is the knolls one place of lodging and drink, the wildly popular Krums Inn. On the south end of the mound is located the guild hall of CITHG sneaks guild hall run by Bozo Whippet. All in all approximately 140 beings call this place home.

Crack Town is the new home base for the current summer campaign, already two sessions old. More on those as soon as I get them written!

PDF link to the Crack Town map HERE

Wednesday, April 3, 2019

My Ticket To Nerd Hell


I found this in my wallet the other day. If you know what this is, you are going to Nerd Hell too.

If this image doesn’t conjure up images of sad Men’s Wearhouse Minmaxers, then you will end up in one of the cooler Nerd Hells. Like one for train spotters, bounders or post Gladiator Zimmer groupies. These charnel houses of pain will be horrible in their own special way, to be sure. It will be kinda like the show Friends, except that you are on fire. And talking about EMD GP 645’s isn’t so bad. When bits of you fall smoking to the ground one of the other Nerds will be kind enough to at least kick it into the ditch.

Before I knew this thing was still in my wallet, I had gotten used to the idea that I would go to the Nerd Hell for game designers. In some ways there is little distinction between being here and there sometimes. Now, that’s all gone. I’ll never find out if a Harkonnen Master Spy in the d20 version of Dune can have more than 14 informants. You have no idea how sad this makes me. Look, there are d3 tears running down my face.

I’m listening to Gladiator. It’s really terrible, not as bad as the actual movie, but still. Do not click on the link below. It will not be fun like Zombo.com.


Now you've done it. I can't wait to ask you if you liked Orion Rising or Sting of the Spider better. I promise I’ll pick up your arm when it falls off.


PS: I went to Gary Con XI. I ran 22 hrs of C-N-C/Blind. It was fun.

Sunday, December 9, 2018

"Yon of Ofaz Session # 12

"Someone fears me?...Oh Boy!"

The Troupe
This game took place during the Thanksgiving school break and four of the players had not played since the conclusion of session #7 when they first entered the “City of Diamonds”. At the conclusion of session #7 everyone inside the Cyclone Werks eventually fell asleep. When DurBur Duke, Lyn, Squire, Simon and  Robin woke up to start session #8 Chris-Tle, Topper, Fred and Mortimer were already gone. Now that these players are present, we can use a bit of Crypt Lord magic to go back in time a bit and see what happened to them….

Beese
Topper’s swarm of 2,999 Beese are having some issues. They have been away a long time. As the time of this separation grows they are more likely to become so weakened that they will start dying. Topper is attuned to this and decides to use her teletransportation ability to get them back to Rubitron before they weaken any further. Chris Tle, Fred and Mortimer (who has Odas ceramic body) decide to travel with the flying hat into the very heart of the “Yon of Ofaz and to the fantastical gleaming city of Rubitron. Topper takes flight during darkness and leads the way followed by her Beese, who in groups of 500 are able to carry one of the other personas. 


This is the first time anyone other than Topper has been inside the ‘Yon itself. They arc up and over the lands below traveling not unlike a supersonic transport. High above they get a birds eye view of the lands between the Cyclone Werks and Rubitron. First they pass over the Aanssk Desert and narrow opening of the “Yon. Beyond this are miles and miles of plain with mountains to the west and broken dead land to the east. The plain ends when they reach a vast lake of slowly burning oil. They start downwards at this point and approach an island jutting up out of the flames made entirely of Red Ruby. They have reached their destination, the city of Rubitron.


The city itself is a dazzling wonder to behold, it rests on a natural oval platform of Ruby which is almost a mile long. On one end is a 1,000 foot diameter golden red ball resting in the city like a giant egg yolk. Around it are thousands of roads, homes and spires of the city. A gigantic arm spirals up from the city's base, holding a glittering Red Ruby palace aloft just over the globe. It is to the highest spire of this palace they are headed. They slow to land on an open area just below the top. The Beese release Mortimer, Chris-Tle and Fred as topper lands gently. 


They notice a glimmering silver and red sky chariot resting on the pad. Huge Swineki guards motion them inside to an elevator. Upwards they glide on polished Red Ruby. At the top they are motioned out into the top chamber into an upward spiraling hallway. They walk slowly past pairs of huge Swineki every five paces. 

Swineki
The way narrows and turns upward on itself, until they reach the final chamber at the apex. It is a largish chamber suffused in Red light. Not far in front of them is a stern looking Hume resting on a hovering throne of living Beese. She takes the four in quizzically over her long thin nose. Topper knows this person, it is in fact her current master, Tindoro. There is an unknown figure in the room, a thin smartly attired Hume woman. She is clearly both an Arcanist and quite bored. Behind Topper and the troupe stands the largest of the Swineki they have seen so far. 

Tindoro's Spire in Rubitron
There is an awkward silence. Finally Tindoro rasps sweetly, a voice not unlike that of a reptile filtered through Red velvet. 

Tindoro
Tindoro: (to Topper): “Do you have the power source?”
Topper: I do, but it’s somewhere else”
Mild petulance. Another pause. No one has acknowledged the other three personas existence.
Tindoro, sweetly: “Where is it?”
Topper: “...I have it...somewhere”.
Tindoro: “Are you sure?” Sniffs the air mildly. Once more just to make sure. “I smell it near”.
Topper: “What are you going to do with it?”
Tindoro, abruptly the velvet gone: “How dare you question me!”
Things are getting nuclear. A few players pause. Fred, the Slave master thespian of Chef Boy Ar-Dee’s Circus (now defunct) chimes in.
Fred: I like your nose. There seems to be something in the air here about today...maybe something is affecting it?”

This skillful diversionary tactic works, things return to a mild sort of anxiousness. Tindoro seems to let things slide, being a great leader of the realm of Rubitron, it is prudent to let underlings know that she can be mildly flexible. To this end she pulls out a Red Ruby time glass and with a flourish reverses it sending mico-grains of Ruby flowing up into the empty top. 

Tindoro: “You have seven days to bring me the power source. And oh...I sense you will encounter a maleficent being made of water. This creature will appear as harmless, but do not be deceived. It’s goal is to bring disorder and ruination to the lands! If you find this creature, bring it to me. I am tired of this, now begone!”

They are hustled out by the giant Swineki. They are allowed to stay in one of the tower rooms for an OTU (eight hours). The Swineki, who they learn is called Javier is now their personal guard. They also learn the name of the other woman, “Leen Dah”.

During this time Mortimer repairs Oda,the ceramic warrior (killed a few sessions back). After some rest the five (Topper, Oda, Mortimer, Chris-Tle and Javier) are given a lift by Leen Dah on her glimmering sky-chariot back to the Aanssk desert where they find the rest of the troupe in their makeshift “Blorgmobile” (the hovel now equipped with legs) trudging back towards the wall and civilization.

Leen Dah
The sleek sky chariot swings to ground long enough to allow the five passengers to jump out. Mortimer then departs the group heading off for parts unknown. The walking hovel with DurBur Duke, Lyn, Squire, Simon and Robin keeps moving closer to the wall. Topper, Oda, Fred and the Swineki Javier eventually convince DurBur Duke to let them inside. It is quite crowded inside the hovel and there is a lot of discussion about whether to keep going towards the wall or turn around and go back to Rubitron. Everyone is still metamorphosing, the most dramatic being that Squire is now a creature of pure water. Someone recounts the conversation with Tindoro and Squire perks up to say “Someone fears me? Let’s go to Rubitron”. There are a lot of groans regarding this. The troupe seems pretty split on the issue of either leaving or staying. They have come within two miles of the wall. Halfway between lies a large carved rock jutting up. Hiding behind it a number of Gnylls. The Gnylls stay put. The troupe ignores the rock. After much arm twisting and complaining DurBur Duke turns the hovel around and heads back the way they came, back to the “Yon of Ofaz.

The hovel is not a fast mode of transport, so DurBur Duke stows it away inside his mindshack. Several personas have a high ground speed, so they trot, the rest are able to fly. The troupe travels for a full OTU past the homesteads and around the Cyclone Werks to within sight of the narrow opening that leads directly into the “Yon. The mile area in front of the opening is choked by Shroom Poppies, an odd red flower and fungus combination. They are covered in a whiteish powder which rubs off and clings to those on the ground. There is mild concern at first, but the powder is harmless.

Winged White Whale
Suddenly something rather large lurches up from the opening in the distance and is coming towards them on huge wings. The troupe has two full na-nutas before the thing is on them. Personas scurry around both on the ground and in the air. Chris Tle conjures a Wall of Razors hoping the beast will ram it. As the beast gets closer it becomes apparent just how large it is, the wingspan is 300 feet, the white whale body is 120 feet. It’s maw is a full 30 x 40 feet all by itself. It looked as if it were going to dive and molest those on the ground, but it pulls up instead to attack those in the air. The Winged White Whale does impact the Arcanist’s Wall of Razors. Huge strips of flesh are shredded off, however the beast seems to not even notice. Oda is flying (using rocket boots created by DBD) and deliberately powers himself directly into the creepazoids maw. He manages to avoid taking damage from the rows mini-van sized  teeth. Others who make eye contact turn away, realizing that to look into its eyes could prove deadly. The monster swings upward…

Until session 13!