You Break It...You Bought It!

Real crypt openers give the tourist infested White Market a wide berth. But a few days of climbing out of pits and listening at doors wears down even the most veteran plunderers. Ah! The market awaits. You have a few sodiums jingling in your pocket and those sun dried meat strips sure look good. Never mind the whole place is awash in the cheapest trash this side of Mordor. What harm is there in laughing at the “Big Svensen” t-shirts, sand-globes and mustache steins? Live a little! Why look here’s a replica of Eve L. Hay Ed’s Cursed Crystal Skull. Look at the detail of the mystic runes and the simulated anti-life glow. It even seems to radiate pure evil and the tag says it’s only 1 mercury piece...

Crypt openers will have literally 240 minutes of non-stop fun in this adventure I like to call…”You Break It...You Bought It!”. The event is scheduled for 8 am on Saturday. Your chair awaits!

One of the many interesting characters in C-N-C

Matchbook Adventure Awaits!

Within Adventurers Row it's dark. This transition means less that there is a lack of light, but more of the coming shift change. False prophets exchange places with scantily clad Enticers. The aroma of glandular exertion is smothered by the acrid smell of unpolished metal. Make no mistake: the bright sunlight has never stopped a blade from stealing a persona’s PHP, but night seems to throw a few more negatives into the mix. It is said that all trails of blood start and end at the entrance of the Gran Roach. Never mind the devils head facade of cracked azure tile, or the zig zag patterns around the door which are cleverly placed to lead your eye away from multiple closed circuit crystal balls. A robed figure approaches you, stops close enough so that you can hear her whisper “pssst...wanna get small?”. You look down to see a slim hand holding a partially open matchbook. You don’t have to look inside, you know the law regarding these matters. The knot in your back from sleeping on the ground connects directly with your neck and you nod without thinking. Before you can entertain second thoughts you’re already shrinking and being sucked into the deadly labyrinth that awaits you in the Arcanists palm...

This 4 hour romp pits tiny versions of yourselves against the terror of a palm sized crypt. I'll be your Crypt Lord and run suckers contestants through this tiny abattoir at Gary Con Friday the 24th at 12 noon. Two have already signed up, There are slots for 6 more. Don't make me grab people at random, like last year...

BTW, I'll put up info on the other C-N-C adventure in a few days. No takers on this or BLIND, yet...

Vascular Stalker, Poprockazoid, Other Worldly Lard Ass, Snareoid and Hornettes

Vascular Stalker

Size: 12 feet tall

Number: 1

Movement: 50 feet per Na-nuta

Disposition: Looking for pure organs

Heat vision: Yes and can sense a heart most pure like a compass up to 10 miles.

Surprise: +2

CHP: 12d12 (2d12)

Muscle Power: 12 + 1d12 (Ave 19) (+1)

Cerebral Energy: 6 + 3d6  (Ave 16)

Nimbality: 2d6 (Ave 7)

Armor: Fat: +1

Blind Panic: 60%

Description: No one knows what foul temple laboratory these things spawn from. These creatures are mystically drawn to beings of pure heart and live only to rip them from their living host and feast upon them. Each mouthful adds the bonuses listed in parentheses, above. Vascular Stalkers are clever hunters, they will follow their victims for months or even years at a time.

Attacks/Defenses:

x2 leg scythes: inflicts 2d8 PHP +MPB each.

x2 tubular suckers: range of 25 feet can suck objects as large as a gargo-goat or rip off 2d6 PHP section of flesh. When attacking a creature with a pure heart, tubular suckers inflict double damage.

x1 bite: victim must be within 10 feet, inflicts 4d6 PHP loss.

These creatures have the abilities of a 1d4th grid sneak.

Live Action Rule: Upon meeting this creepie, each player secretly writes down which among their group is most foul. The Crypt Lord collects the votes and the Vascular Stalker will ignore the winning persona during combat. (Note, the results are kept secret).

Poprockazoid

Size: 1-2 feet tall

Number: 1, 1d6, 3d6

Movement: 0

Disposition: Restful and/or alert (I'm watching you miss Robinson...)

Heat vision: Yes

Surprise: +12

CHP: 1d6

Muscle Power: 1d6

Cerebral Energy: 1d4

Nimbality: 1d4

Armor: Rock shell, +2

Blind Panic: 10%

Description: These creatures typically are found in rock piles within underground caves. Anytime a warm creature gets within 10 feet of one of these they instantly pop open revealing a large watchful eye that emits a soft yellowish beam of light. The beam is 30 feet long and 10 feet wide. The eye is connected to a leathery stalk and will only go back to sleep once there is no warmth or motion within 30 feet for 3 Deca-nutas.

Attacks/Defenses:

None.

Live Action Rule: It is said, if you stare into the eye of a Poprockazoid long enough, you can see what they have seen. To simulate have a staring contest with the Crypt Lord. If you win, he/she/it must tell you something useful that the Poprockazoid has seen. If you lose...you have a permanent yellow spot in your vision for the rest of the PEOG that has a -10%/-2 effect on any action using your eyes.

Other Worldly Lard Ass

Size: 8 foot cube

Number: 1

Movement: 60 feet per Na-nuta and spiritual manifestation

Disposition: “Yawn”

Heat vision: Yes

Surprise: +6

CHP: 1d6

Muscle Power: n/a

Cerebral Energy: 2d10 (10)

Nimbality: 12 + 1d12 (19)

Armor: Slack +8

Blind Panic: 80%

Description: Spiritual beings of pure slack, they are drawn to this dimension during periods of great activity to restore balance. There is a 1% chance during any stressful or vigorous activity (such as a pitched battle) that one of these spiritual beings will appear to restore balance. 

Attacks/Defenses:

These creatures may never be harmed on purpose. The only things that affect them must be accidental.

When this being appears, all creatures within the area (usually 100 foot radius, or as defined by the Crypt Lord) must make successful blind panic rolls each Na-nuta or fall asleep. The OWLA will remain for 1 + 1d4 Na-nutas or until all the creatures in the area are asleep. Sleep lasts 1d7 days and restores all lost PHP.

Live Action Rule: Any player who can keep their head down for 5 minutes and not be bothered or make any sounds will appease the Other Worldly Lard Ass and it will be satisfied and leave immediately.

Snareoid

Size: 4 feet fern with 2d20 foot long snare vines

Number: 1, or clump of 2d6

Movement: 0

Disposition: Devious

Heat vision: No

Surprise: +15

CHP: 1d6

Muscle Power: Vines have 2d10 (11)

Cerebral Energy: 1d4

Nimbality: 1d4

Armor: Thorns +1

Blind Panic: 15%

Description: Thorny ferns with long vines that snake around the ground waiting for the unwary. Sure, they love little meaty tidbits. Shoes...blehhh! Note, some beings have been able to train these plants as guardians and spray various toxins on their thorns….

Attacks/Defenses:

x1, or 2, or 3 snare attacks: If a persona is surprised, the snare grabs around a leg (or other support appendage) and reels the victim 1d20 feet towards the main body of the plant which is covered in thorns that inflict 1d8 PHP loss per Na-nuta.

Live Action Rule: Anyone caught touching a non-worn, non-furniture plant is instantly grabbed by a snare from the nearest Snareoid and attacked.

Hornettes

Size: 30 foot fadial mass

Number: Thousands

Movement: 100 feet per Na-nuta

Disposition: Perturbed

Heat vision: No

Surprise: 0

CHP: Special

Muscle Power: n/a

Cerebral Energy: 2d8 (9)

Nimbality: n/a

Armor: n/a

Blind Panic: 25%

Description: Hgp sized winged insectoids that live in mud nests. If the nest is disturbed, they will form a defensive swarm to drive away intruders.

Attacks/Defenses:

Anyone in the 30 foot radial footprint is affected by the maddening tooting of the thousands of insect tongues. All individuals must make a successful insanity factor check each Na-nuta. Failure means they must stop the dreadful sound. This means doing everything in their power, up to ripping their ears off to make it stop. Once affected, the sound never stops, it lives inside the head of the victim until the swarm peacefully retreats back into the nest.

Live Action Rule: Anyone who can spot a live insect can make an insanity factor check to throw off the effects of the Hornettes. This can also be passed to another player.

Merchandising Juggernaut

Happy Festivus
to all the
Swordinga Swinging Rubbernecks
of the world!





Look for these bee-yoot-afull designs...and more!

Shameless Promotion: Blind RPG

Its official. Blind debuts at Gary Con IX.

Information at: http://blindrpg.blogspot.com/

The print version available spring 2017. Includes rules and 3 experiences.

Whisp-Lock

Whisp-lock

Size: 10 feet
Number: 1
Movement: floats 50 feet per Na-nuta
Disposition: Performs acts of evil to prove itself
Heat vision: Yes
Surprise: +4
CHP: See hair color, below
Muscle Power: 2d12 (Ave 12)
Cerebral Energy: d12+14  (Ave 26)
Nimbality: d6+8 (Ave 11)
Armor: None, however may only be harmed by creatures who themselves are bald.
Blind Panic: 65%

Description:

These malign creatures are as feared as they are rare. A Whisp-loc is created when a Gargo-goat eats a single strand of a sleeping female Arcanists hair during a gibbous moon. The creepazoid is released 12 days later from the excrement fully formed. It’s sole desire is to outperform (by a factor of at least ten) the Arcanist donor in every way. To accomplish this it will use the most direct and immoral means necessary to inflate its ego. Whisp-locs have the same abilities as an Arcanist (including combat arts, MERP and spell usage). If you meet one, run. These things void insurance covenants at 1,000 yards. Good luck. 

Attacks/Defenses:

x2 claw slashes inflict 1d8 PHP each (cannot use these attacks and cast a spell).

May set fire to itself (inflicting normal burning damage), however the effect is so olfactorily vile that all creatures in a 60 ft radius must pass an insanity factor check or suffer an effect from the Freakout matrix (p:130).

May completely unravel to escape. This takes 1d4 Na-nutas and the 100 meter strand can slither into the smallest space at a speed of 160 feet per Na-nuta.

Hair Color: Roll a d4

1) Gray: CHP: 14d4/Arcanist Grid 4

2) Black: CHP: 16d4/Arcanist Grid 5

3) Blonde: CHP: 18d4/Arcanist Grid 6

4) Red: CHP: 20d4/Arcanist Grid 7

Live Action Rule:

If the Crypt Lord catches any player fiddling with their hair the combat sequence is instantly reset to the beginning of a new Na-nuta. All actions that may have been performed are lost. As always to start the new Na-nuta scroll, pincer, ingot is used to see which side strikes first. However, the player side is restricted from using ingot during the determination.

The lowdown on the “Weird” non-popular game stats: Some of the terms can be intuited and converted. If this seems an arduous task simply leave a nice note in my comments and I’ll throw some stats together for that unmentionable more popular game. The other option is to...never mind.

New Way to Generate Random Stuff on the Fly

I like my dice, but sometimes they get in the way. This often happens when role playing conversations and I need to pull something off a list somewhere to spark my creativity. I have always loved that commercial where the two people walk into each other, one is eating from an open jar of peanut butter, the other munching on a chocolate bar. "Heyyy....you got your dice in my table...." 

I took the listings from Mr. Sabbath's "d100 Brutalizer" post and put them on cards I printed out that look like this. His list has around 200 entries, each one of my cards holds 24. His list makes a good demonstration of this format.

Here is how they work. Spin them around so a random side is up. There is a hex shaped card on top that is broken into two rings of six zones. Rotate it and slide your thumb down. You will get a number from 1 - 6 and either an "R" or "C".

I check the hex card result, in this case a 3R, which means 3 REPEAT. I slide the cards down so the 3 slot on each is visible. I got "Barbecued Toe" as a result. Because this can be done while doing something else, (like talking) it's a seamless way to throw in random stuff during play. No flipping through books.

The original purpose was to generate random city encounters on the fly. For example, the players walk into a bar and they see...

...a Mengweer Bucklemaker who says "didn't I kill you once"?