Troupe: Marolin Moneybanks (Quinn), Flaca Oaxaca (Grace), Smudge Shellston (Michael), Doop (Caleb), Halcyon (Justina), The Biggest* (Griffin) and Sanford (Kris).
Garage Leader: Ro
Location: Ro's Dining Room
Link to Preceding Adventure: Icy Flows of Boo # 11 & Leenda’s Matchbox Arena #1
In the last PEOG our troupe and another group decided to be shrunk down by a kindly arcanist so they may work out their differences within an illegal matchbox arena. Two na-nutas of fray making have already passed.
The gymnasium sized arena features aging facsimile clouds which are bolted to the ceiling, grandstands populated by gnawed mannequins from the ancient site of the House On The Rock, a gravel pitch with a seven tiered fountain topped by a half sized replica of Klogg Narr. On either side are two pairs of massive double doors marked by signs “Do not open” and “Definitely Do Not Open” respectively. At the far ends of the gravel pitch are tents, one black, the other silver.
Doop is smoking a cigar, Moneybanks is fiddling with a double barreled revolver, The Biggest* contemplates smashing open the doors labeled “Definitely Do Not Open”, Philton has just suddenly been teleportation swapped by Halcyon, who was a universe away. (This happens sometimes when you accidentally consume teleportation bark). Flaxa is standing where Smudge’s body has fallen minus a small portion of its cerebellum and corresponding section of scalp due to a rectal port misfire.
Neegrik laughs, showing off his mastery of the high insane pitch of sorcery while massaging his shriveled leg, which balloons and expands until becoming 30 feet long. Om of Doi directs two flying swordingas at Flaxa as he peeks out from behind the silver tent. The insectoid warrior Ahce spins their Spork madly overhead and hovers over to Skraal. Moneybanks and Halcyon discharge missile weapons inflicting minor damage to Negrick while Flaxa retrieves the top of Smudges head and pats it back into the spot where it came from. The arcanist groggily awakens but is confused thinking red is green. The Biggest* is communing with their god Gnaw Gnaw Gnaw for the divine strength to smash open the unjust doors. After a chorus of heavenly gnashing they are knocked aside and thousands of mummified frogs playing instruments begin pouring in. Doop pulls a robut prototype designed to perform medical miracles from his mindshack.
|Left to Right: Flaxa, Doop, Halcyon and Smudge|
Ahce transports Skraal back to Negrick up in the bleachers while Om flicks out two more flying swords. As more thousands of mariachi frogs pour into the arena Smudge fires off a powerful volley of Finger Flicks which take out Negrick. Halcyon and Moneybanks manage to dodge the falling foe and its 30 foot leg. The waves of musical frogs are causing the matchbox arenas walls and floors to break apart which creates a slight pause in the action as everyone takes stock of the situation. Skraal suddenly disappears with a popping sound just before emergency torches light up and a klaxon sounds as the matchbox begins to more violently rip itself apart. The infinite scale of the Zetherscape is plainly visible through the cracks beyond.
|Left to Right: Smudge, Sanford, Moneybanks and The Biggest*|
The troupe converges on the fountain. Moneybanks climbs up to plant a kiss on the half scale Klogg Narr. Flaxa sips from the 7th tier and begins to flicker between realities, but the forces which are wreaking havoc keep her firmly present. Meanwhile, Doop’s robut creation begins undergoing an existential crisis and names itself Sanford as it attempts to plow its way to the fountain.
Two disc shaped portals appear on either side of the fountain. Flaxa crosses to one and puts her hand through just as a 30 foot long reptilian head slides into the crumbling arena. It has a long jaw and a massive studded metal band keeps it partially closed. The two monstrous creepazoid heads have a multitude of dark eyes and teeth. The other group abandon their comrade Negrick and move to one of the beasts. They peel back the creature's upper lip and hurriedly climb into airline seats which are affixed to its teeth. Om of Doi buckles himself into the front seat and can be seen grabbing something above his head before the jaw closes before the head disappears back through the portal.
Matchbox sections are drifting further and further apart while millions of frogs continue to pour in. Halcyon, being a Sneak, is attuned to Zetherscape forces and is able to find the master monolocalzoid (which looks like a giant spaghetti noodle) and keep it under tension which slows the matchboxes self destruction. The rest of the group quickly move to the remaining head and begin the rather disturbing process of climbing into the seats, each of which are protected by a metal roll bar. Moneybanks is determined to procure a first class seat. He spots at the front the best looking seat and begins sloshing his way through the ankle deep saliva to strap in. The Biggest* communes with their god in an effort to learn something about this creature but is unable to learn anything useful. Grumbling, The Biggest* puts on one of Flaxa’s borrowed Zwinkie masks so that they will be able to fit inside the creature's mouth. Once everyone is seated, Halcyon drops the monolocalzoid to join them. As the monstrous lips begin to seal, Doop decides that he wants one of the frogs, unbuckles himself and reaches down to scoop one up. Flaxa keeps him from falling out of the creature's mouth to his doom at the last second. Doop names the flute playing frog “Insane” as he buckles back in. The Muzzled Bucket seals its jaw and pulls its head from the disintegrating wreckage of the arena in the last free second of the na-nuta.
Inside the muzzled Bucket Flaxa and Smudge fire up torchlight ‘gics on their pocket orbs. There is a news item of note from ONN (Orbnet News Network). The anchor, Bjork Blitzer, has real concern in her voice as she narrates news footage of scores of hovering so-called “Cubes of Horror” which have mysteriously appeared on the edges of civilization and are using ancient tek to wreak destruction. As the footage abruptly ends with a crackle she moves deftly to a fluff piece about banana ducks. The Biggest* reminds everyone under its breath that all it did was push some random buttons.
The Muzzled Bucket’s mouth cavity begins filling up with saliva. It's the deepest at the front where Moneybanks is looking around for a blanket but only finds the skin of a giant peanut. The tepid liquid is up to his chin, so he decides to move to a rear seat where the saliva level is more acceptable. Flaxa starts looking around and finds that there is a sheet of paper clipped above Moneybanks old seat up at the front. The sheet definitely does not have the words “tired of being a bird?” written on it. There is one last tear off strip with a long string of numbers on it. After tearing it off she returns to her seat as the creepazoids jaw muscles tighten to spit everyone out.
The troupe is ejected in a stream of saliva, each member connected with a strand of protective liquid in a chain. Flaxa realizes that she has mental control over the saliva stream and the magical numbers allow her to know where their destination is. Within the infinite void of the zetherscape strange objects appear and disappear in the distance. Time moves in an irregular fashion.
After a time they spot a 20 ft rock with a shiny metal suitcase resting on it. Flaxa maneuvers the saliva strand to match its velocity while Doop moves up the strand so that he is able to unstick himself from its protective covering and stand on it in front of the case. He pops open the latches and is surprised as the case turns out to be the disguised jaws of a very toothy creepazoid. Six tentacles pop out from the rock creature and begin pummeling. Doop is pulled back into the saliva stream by his comrades as he produces a bunker buster from his mind shack to drop onto the creature. As they pull away a dull explosion marks the spot where the beasty once was.
After either a long or short time they spot a bearded human on the wreckage of a starship holding up a metal panel with the word HELP burned into it. The bearded figure hangs its head as they zoom on past. Flaxa can feel that they have reached their destination when suddenly the whole troop snaps like a rubber band back into the Tzoid of reality, specifically within a 10 foot cage hanging from the ceiling of the lower dungeon of the Gran Roach in the city of Fooburg of the Moot of Fooglee. Flaxa has been here many times in her youth to watch her favorite ruck band, Freedonian Steamroller.
Until Next time!
Here is the quiz:
1) What do we know about the beaver apocalypse? (that it has been seen in a past, current or future sportsball broadcast)
2)Fill in the blank of this quote by The Biggest*: “This door is ____”. (Unjust)
3)Who made the d24 we are using? (Lou Zocchi)
4)What are Smart Points? (Cerebellum)
5)When Moneybanks says “You’re the only one I’ve ever respected”, who is he referring to? (Klogg Narr)
6)What passes as a “blanket” in the first class section of the Muzzled Buckets mouth? (The skin of a giant peanut)
7)What TV show was mentioned? (Sanford and Son)
8)What is “smunk”? (a puppet)
10)What does the paper with the numbers on it not say? (Tired of being a bird?)