Monday, November 28, 2022

Leenda’s Matchbox Arena #2 November 25th, 2022

Troupe: Marolin Moneybanks (Quinn), Flaca Oaxaca (Grace), Smudge Shellston (Michael), Doop (Caleb), Halcyon (Justina), The Biggest* (Griffin) and Sanford (Kris).

Garage Leader: Ro

Location: Ro's Dining Room

Link to Preceding Adventure: Icy Flows of Boo # 11 & Leenda’s Matchbox Arena #1

In the last PEOG our troupe and another group decided to be shrunk down by a kindly arcanist so they may work out their differences within an illegal matchbox arena. Two na-nutas of fray making have already passed.

The gymnasium sized arena features aging facsimile clouds which are bolted to the ceiling, grandstands populated by gnawed mannequins from the ancient site of the House On The Rock, a gravel pitch with a seven tiered fountain topped by a half sized replica of Klogg Narr. On either side are two pairs of massive double doors marked by signs “Do not open” and “Definitely Do Not Open” respectively. At the far ends of the gravel pitch are tents, one black, the other silver.

Doop is smoking a cigar, Moneybanks is fiddling with a double barreled revolver, The Biggest* contemplates smashing open the doors labeled “Definitely Do Not Open”, Philton has just suddenly been teleportation swapped by Halcyon, who was a universe away. (This happens sometimes when you accidentally consume teleportation bark). Flaxa is standing where Smudge’s body has fallen minus a small portion of its cerebellum and corresponding section of scalp due to a rectal port misfire.

Neegrik laughs, showing off his mastery of the high insane pitch of sorcery while massaging his shriveled leg, which balloons and expands until becoming 30 feet long. Om of Doi directs two flying swordingas at Flaxa as he peeks out from behind the silver tent. The insectoid warrior Ahce spins their Spork madly overhead and hovers over to Skraal. Moneybanks and Halcyon discharge missile weapons inflicting minor damage to Negrick while Flaxa retrieves the top of Smudges head and pats it back into the spot where it came from. The arcanist groggily awakens but is confused thinking red is green. The Biggest* is communing with their god Gnaw Gnaw Gnaw for the divine strength to smash open the unjust doors. After a chorus of heavenly gnashing they are knocked aside and thousands of mummified frogs playing instruments begin pouring in. Doop pulls a robut prototype designed to perform medical miracles from his mindshack.

Left to Right: Flaxa, Doop, Halcyon and Smudge

Ahce transports Skraal back to Negrick up in the bleachers while Om flicks out two more flying swords. As more thousands of mariachi frogs pour into the arena Smudge fires off a powerful volley of Finger Flicks which take out Negrick. Halcyon and Moneybanks manage to dodge the falling foe and its 30 foot leg. The waves of musical frogs are causing the matchbox arenas walls and floors to break apart which creates a slight pause in the action as everyone takes stock of the situation. Skraal suddenly disappears with a popping sound just before emergency torches light up and a klaxon sounds as the matchbox begins to more violently rip itself apart. The infinite scale of the Zetherscape is plainly visible through the cracks beyond.

Left to Right: Smudge, Sanford, Moneybanks and The Biggest*

The troupe converges on the fountain. Moneybanks climbs up to plant a kiss on the half scale Klogg Narr. Flaxa sips from the 7th tier and begins to flicker between realities, but the forces which are wreaking havoc keep her firmly present.  Meanwhile, Doop’s robut creation begins undergoing an existential crisis and names itself Sanford as it attempts to plow its way to the fountain.

Two disc shaped portals appear on either side of the fountain. Flaxa crosses to one and puts her hand through just as a 30 foot long reptilian head slides into the crumbling arena. It has a long jaw and a massive studded metal band keeps it partially closed. The two monstrous creepazoid heads have a multitude of dark eyes and teeth. The other group abandon their comrade Negrick and move to one of the beasts. They peel back the creature's upper lip and hurriedly climb into airline seats which are affixed to its teeth. Om of Doi buckles himself into the front seat and can be seen grabbing something above his head before the jaw closes before the head disappears back through the portal.

Matchbox sections are drifting further and further apart while millions of frogs continue to pour in. Halcyon, being a Sneak, is attuned to Zetherscape forces and is able to find the master monolocalzoid  (which looks like a giant spaghetti noodle) and keep it under tension which slows the matchboxes self destruction. The rest of the group quickly move to the remaining head and begin the rather disturbing process of climbing into the seats, each of which are protected by a metal roll bar. Moneybanks is determined to procure a first class seat. He spots at the front the best looking seat and begins sloshing his way through the ankle deep saliva to strap in. The Biggest* communes with their god in an effort to learn something about this creature but is unable to learn anything useful. Grumbling, The Biggest* puts on one of Flaxa’s borrowed Zwinkie masks so that they will be able to fit inside the creature's mouth. Once everyone is seated, Halcyon drops the monolocalzoid to join them. As the monstrous lips begin to seal, Doop decides that he wants one of the frogs, unbuckles himself and reaches down to scoop one up. Flaxa keeps him from falling out of the creature's mouth to his doom at the last second. Doop names the flute playing frog “Insane” as he buckles back in. The Muzzled Bucket seals its jaw and pulls its head from the disintegrating wreckage of the arena in the last free second of the na-nuta.

Inside the muzzled Bucket Flaxa and Smudge fire up torchlight ‘gics on their pocket orbs. There is a news item of note from ONN (Orbnet News Network). The anchor, Bjork Blitzer, has real concern in her voice as she narrates news footage of scores of hovering so-called “Cubes of Horror” which have mysteriously appeared on the edges of civilization and are using ancient tek  to wreak destruction. As the footage abruptly ends with a crackle she moves deftly to a fluff piece about banana ducks. The Biggest* reminds everyone under its breath that all it did was push some random buttons.

The Muzzled Bucket’s mouth cavity begins filling up with saliva. It's the deepest at the front where Moneybanks is looking around for a blanket but only finds the skin of a giant peanut. The tepid liquid is up to his chin, so he decides to move to a rear seat where the saliva level is more acceptable. Flaxa starts looking around and finds that there is a sheet of paper clipped above Moneybanks old seat up at the front. The sheet definitely does not have the words “tired of being a bird?” written on it. There is one last tear off strip with a long string of numbers on it. After tearing it off she returns to her seat as the creepazoids jaw muscles tighten to spit everyone out.

The troupe is ejected in a stream of saliva, each member connected with a strand of protective liquid in a chain. Flaxa realizes that she has mental control over the saliva stream and the magical numbers allow her to know where their destination is. Within the infinite void of the zetherscape strange objects appear and disappear in the distance. Time moves in an irregular fashion.

After a time they spot a 20 ft rock with a shiny metal suitcase resting on it. Flaxa maneuvers the saliva strand to match its velocity while Doop moves up the strand so that he is able to unstick himself from its protective covering and stand on it in front of the case. He pops open the latches and is surprised as the case turns out to be the disguised jaws of a very toothy creepazoid. Six tentacles pop out from the rock creature and begin pummeling. Doop is pulled back into the saliva stream by his comrades as he produces a bunker buster from his mind shack to drop onto the creature. As they pull away a dull explosion marks the spot where the beasty once was.

After either a long or short time they spot a bearded human on the wreckage of a starship holding up a metal panel with the word HELP burned into it. The bearded figure hangs its head as they zoom on past. Flaxa can feel that they have reached their destination when suddenly the whole troop snaps like a rubber band back into the Tzoid of reality, specifically within a 10 foot cage hanging from the ceiling of the lower dungeon of the Gran Roach in the city of Fooburg of the Moot of Fooglee. Flaxa has been here many times in her youth to watch her favorite ruck band, Freedonian Steamroller.

Until Next time!

Here is the quiz:

1) What do we know about the beaver apocalypse? (that it has been seen in a past, current or future sportsball broadcast)
2)Fill in the blank of this quote by The Biggest*: “This door is ____”. (Unjust)
3)Who made the d24 we are using? (Lou Zocchi)
4)What are Smart Points? (Cerebellum)
5)When Moneybanks says “You’re the only one I’ve ever respected”, who is he referring to? (Klogg Narr)
6)What passes as a “blanket” in the first class section of the Muzzled Buckets mouth? (The skin of a giant peanut)
7)What TV show was mentioned? (Sanford and Son)
8)What is “smunk”? (a puppet)
9)What is the name of the ONN anchor? (Bjork Blitzer)
10)What does the paper with the numbers on it not say? (Tired of being a bird?)

Thursday, June 17, 2021

Icy Flows of Boo #3 May 23rd 2021

Troupe: Klomp (Mark), Flaca (Grace), Smudge (Michael) and Smock (Caleb).
Garage Leader: Ro
Location: Ro's Garage
Link to Preceding Adventure: Icy Flows of Boo #2 May 16th 2021

Our game now sports fancy mood setting lights!

Klomp impales the now prone body of the Behemoth Snow Leopardoid one more time just to make sure it doesn't come back to life. The troupe spends several Mi-nutas discussing whether or not they should skin it. Klomp searches the creature for swag and finds none. They try to pull the 16 foot long carcass up onto the chariot, but it is too large and keeps sliding off. They decide to give this idea and take the creature's “Skrawww” pole arm as consolation.

Mark as "Klomp"

Meanwhile the weather has become intense, a huge sucking wave of sound envelopes the whole area. In the distance streaks of debris can be seen being sucked into the tilted maw of the icecano.

Grace as "Flo"

There is a flicker of putrid orange light and the now familiar form of Klogg Narr appears like an unwelcome habit. He starts going on, in a loud unctuous voice, not unlike Patrick Stewart trying to imitate a robotic programmed for etiquette,  about the Quill Chat logs that he is now reading from Smudge's Pocket Orb, who has been apparently been neglecting to talk to his brother about some money that he still owes him for a pizza. The troupe now understands that the rogue ‘Gic has jumped from Mistla’s Pocket Orb to Smudges. Surely this could be an interesting problem later on.

Klogg Narr

Everything becomes silent. A slow rumble forms around them, akin to a fortress sized sack about to rupture. The low pressure makes everyones eardrums vibrate like catgut being drawn across a steel cable. A white flash appears and from the mouth of the icecano and a billowing golden white mushroom cloud begins rising into the sky. Flo (Flaca) concentrates for a moment using her gut to decide whether they are in danger. Her gut seems ambivalent, however inside the rest of her body lights are flashing and klaxons are sounding. As the cloud starts to blot out the sun the troupe mounts the Chariot and Flo guns the control levers making the vehicle rocket away.

Michael as "Smudge"

They are now heading northwards, away from both the cloud of doom and towards the settlement to which they were initially heading. Everyone grips onto the open deck of the ancient device, most using various adhesives to keep from being flung off the now speeding chariot. Rapidly appearing in front of them is the sheer cliff wall that surrounds this region, Flo swings the craft to follow the undulating rock at a distance of 70 feet. Klogg Narr appears almost as if he were actually with them, hunched over in a cartoonish manner as if an illusion needed to be holding on with everyone else. “I am told by the magics that I represent that there a truly wondrous sale of goods at All-You-Kan-Buy-Mikes-Furniture” The group is a bit worn down now, the “Gic’s musings only prompt a few perfunctory nods.

Appearing behind them, “Eagle Eye’s Smock” (his nickname while in the armed forces) spots a speck moving in behind them. He is able to see that it looks like a small red and white striped circus tent flying slowly gaining on them. The thought of seeing clowns and juggling acts sends a thrill of excitement through his little rag body and he can’t help to exclaim for all to hear “a circus!”

Caleb as "Smock"

A second, and somehow more annoying Klogg Narr, appears to suggest that they slow down and visit the tent behind them. “It’s very prototypical and very exciting I’m told”. The giant cloud seems to have stopped expanding and in the near distance they can see colossal snowflakes, bigger than whole villages spinning in slow arcs as they fall to the ground. On contact huge plumes of frozen debris are churned up. It would appear they have managed to avoid the effect. Flo decides that maybe a tiny circus is just what they need right now and she pulls back on the throttle lever bringing the chariot to a stop.

The Magician's Tent & Ro, Your Garage Leader

The gayly striped tent floats to the ground nearby. Smock instantly jumps down and runs over. Flaca jumps down as well and the two of them jog over and stand in front of the billowing tent flap. Smock leads the way inside, Flo right behind. It has a smallish interior. Piled around like a hastily produced yard sale are various items of standard dungeoneering. Everything is flickering like a bad fluorescent light in a David Lynch film. Boogah, also flickering, is at the back, behind a crate. Smock’s disappointment at not being able to see things jump through hoops flips his demeanor from happy to sad. Flo absently picks through some of the barrels of iron spikes, which are marked “3 for a sodium”. She holds a mercury and Boogah shakes his head and slowly moves over to her. “You don’t have anything smaller?” He grunts and motions to a display nearby of McCrofty Iron Spikes, which are conveniently enough one mercury each. Reluctantly she picks up one of the flickering spikes, “are these real?”  The slightly flickering Boogah nods his head and holds his hand out. Flo drops the coin and it passes right through his hand and thunks to the ground. Boogah makes an exasperated grunt as he and the tent flicker out and disappear. Flo retrieves the mercury piece and puts the flickering spike in her pack. Both her and a very disappointed Smock return to the chariot and begin flying south again towards the settlement.

Mach Schnell

The group settles in, glued onto the open bed of the chariot. A speck appears in the sky behind them, gaing slowly. Mistla looks ahead, the look on her face shows that she has been expecting this. In a few short Mi-nutas it is close enough to have pulled up alongside. It is an orange spotted Mach Schnell, wings out and eddies of subtle magical exhaust being let out in its wake. In an open cab sits the pilot, a red skinned, tattooed bi-peedal woman, glaring at Mistla.

I'll need to ask Caleb for the last bit here, I forgot what happend!

Here's the Quiz (Each correct answer is worth 1 xp):

1) What is the BSL’s weapon? (a Skrawww)
2) What are the possible words for Porno’s Viscid Glue? (wubba wubba wubba or wobba wobba wobba)
3) What did they call Smock in the military? (“Eagle Eyes Smock”)
4) What happened to one of Smudge’s eyeballs? (It got sucked into his armpit)
5) What has Smock always wanted to see? (Things jump through hoops)
6) What was upsold to Flo? (A McCrofty Iron spike)
7) What did Mistla’s family do? (Ran a frog farm)
8) What was the Behemoth Snow Leopardoid’s name? (Marashino)
9) Where is it all you can buy? (Mike’s All You Can Buy Furniture)
10) Name something “old school” (Slavery)

Join us next time for the Icy Flows of Boo #4!

Saturday, June 5, 2021

Icy Flows of Boo #2 May 16th 2021

Troupe: Klomp (Mark), Flaca (Grace), Shimmy (Emelia), Smudge (Michael), Smock (Caleb) and Gyro as Barney (Jimmy).
Garage Leader: Ro
Location: Ro's Garage
Link to Preceding Adventure: Icy Flows of Boo #1 May 2nd 2021

The lifeless body of the Welt bolts upright in shock. She seems surprised and wary at the same time, as if this state is not all that uncommon to her. As she searches her pockets for something “my pocket orb is missing...has anyone seen it? Oh, my name is Mistla.” Smudge calls her pocket orb and it is no surprise when a buzzing sound comes from Flaca’s pocket. She flicks her eyes and mutter’s “whatever” as she hands it back.

Klomp, Smudge and Flaca ask Philton about their mission to save the orphans, namely in what direction they should go, where the “Life Crystals” are and any other useful details that could help them on their quest. Philton’s reply is to shrug his shoulders.

Flaca puts on a half mask covered in tiny square mirrors which causes her to shrink down and transform into a disco themed Zwinkie. Shimmy joins her to fly up in order to get a birds eye view of the best direction to go. The region is a tundronic wasteland, no trees or vegetation. The slightly hilly horizon is punctuated by icy morasses of floating bergs. The south is dominated by a massive icecano belching forth a plume of frigid crystals. Between them and the Ruld icecano is a darker speck which could be a settlement. The troupe decides to head off in that direction.

Shimmy spots a fast moving object moving towards the group, but forgets to mention it before it is on them. Suddenly, a 16 foot tall bipeedal Behemoth Snow Leopardoid atop a glistening anti-grav chariot is on them.

The troupe splits up into several groups as the beast cuts through them. The chariot whizzes right over Smock and then speeds directly at Klomp. Klomp recalls from urk schul a ditty about Leoprdoids:

Oh Leopardoid
I am a bad boid
I must sleep
Or my life is null
And void.

The furry giant weilds a scraww, which is a massive pole arm with a grapnel device. the BSL fires the hook, but is unable to snag a victim. The Kortluskian 1/3rd Urk dodges the vehicle and jumps up onto the chariot. The vehicle's platform is smooth and Klomp slips off, pullin the BSL down into the snow with him.

The 1/3rd Urk gets in a mighty blow with his swordikjrom. The wounded monster is taken out seconds later by 
Smudge’s barrage of Finger Flicks. As the riderless chariot slows to a halt, Shimmy flies over to it and begins pulling on the levers. She is able to figure out how it is controlled. The troupe clambers on board, using various adhesives to keep themselves from falling off the polished mehtahl of the bed of the fast moving chariot.

The troupe begins heading save the orphans.

Here's this PEOG's Quiz. Remember, each correct answer is worth 1 xp:

1) What does “all points” mean? (a successful Nimbality check)
2) What is Smudge’s friend's name? (Oggo Goggo)
3) Where does Philton’s mom live? (in a small tin)
4) What is Mistla’s quill chat name? (Mighty Dragon 11)
5) What does BSL stand for? (Behemoth Snow Leopardoid)
6) What does BAMF stand for? (Bad Ath Fooglee Mucker)
7) What does the chariot fly like? (a landspeeder)
8) What does Lou do for a living? (he is a dice designer)
9) Name a pet mentioned this evening. (Kortluskia)
10) What is the name of a texting “Gic? (Scroll Chat)

Join us next time for the Icy Flows of Boo #3!

Friday, May 28, 2021

Icy Flows of Boo #1 May 2nd 2021

The troupe's approximate location

Troupe: Philton (James), Flaca (Grace), Shimmy (Emelia), Smock (Caleb) and Gyro as Barney (Jimmy).
Garage Leader: Ro
Location: Ro's Garage (Not to be confused with Joe's Garage)
Link to Preceding Adventure: Dusty PennGooInn #4 September 13th 2020
Link to Next Adventure: Icy Flows of Boo #2 May 16th 2021

NOTE: This descriptor of events was automatically captured by the Klogg Narr 'Gic and transcribed into a text document by ASSININE (Artificial Serebral System Ingeniously Not Incongruous Nor Equivocal, a new Smorkk technology).

ANOTHER NOTE: This adventure experience picks up from the events in Dusty PennGooInn #4 September 13th 2020.

Sunday, March 14, 2021

#2 Sham End March 8th, 2021 Session 2

Troupe: THE straw prince, Shtick and Oda
Basement Leader: Ro

Whimsy Cards in play this PEOG

Baba tells them there is no spell casting in the house. Closing the door behind them, Oda, Shtick and THE straw prince step out onto the path in front of the old woman’s house. They carefully position themselves so that they are right at the point where it splits, going either north or northeast.

Monday, November 30, 2020

#1 Sham End November 28th 2020 Session 1

Troupe: THE straw prince, Shtick and Oda
Basement Leader: Ro

"Caleb" as Shtick

The wind is blowing through the boards of a long abandoned farmhouse. A rainstorm has just moved on leaving a few puddles. Shtick being an adventurous creature followed the rain inland. Erkins are creatures of flame who usually keep to themselves. Contrary to what most believe, they love making water hiss and evaporate. He had never seen a Millibrick before and when he playfully tried to melt it, thousands of it’s friends chased him to the old farm.  Here they trapped him by quickly assembling themselves into a brick shed. Through a narrow opening he can see an old union suit on a clothesline whip around crazily.

Sunday, November 15, 2020

Dusty PennGooInn #4 September 13th 2020

Troupe: Gyro, Indus and Philton
Garage Leader: Ro
Medium: Spatially Enhanced RPG (played in my open garage)

Varkendor and Halcyon have unfinished business and are unable to stay with the troupe. Varkendor, being an Arcanist skilled in the art, gives Gyro, Indus and Philton who will be traveling to...someplace only described as mightily cold, a piece of “Teleportal Bark”. This vascular cambium apparently has the magical power to act as a beacon allowing Varkendor to pinpoint its runic coordinational position within the T-zoid of Real Life. This will allow them to catch up later on.

Marie as "Indus"