Sunday, March 14, 2021

#2 Sham End March 8th, 2021 Session 2

Troupe: THE straw prince, Shtick and Oda
Basement Leader: Ro

Whimsy Cards in play this PEOG

Baba tells them there is no spell casting in the house. Closing the door behind them, Oda, Shtick and THE straw prince step out onto the path in front of the old woman’s house. They carefully position themselves so that they are right at the point where it splits, going either north or northeast. THE straw prince scribbles down a destination on a scrap of paper for the spell Teletransportation:

The destination
The troupe materializes at the end of a path. Their surroundings match that of Sham End being dreary, in full shadow and emotionally depressed. They are surrounded by chewed volcanic stone devoid of vegetable life other than tilted conifers which have managed to only barely hang onto a few needles. In front of them is an abrupt hill crowned by a gigantic rotting apple the size of a barrage balloon. Behind them the path circles an open space with four crude shacks, each spaced at one corner. Behind each tiny building is a 20 x 20 foot metal sign, each with a single letter cut out of it’s center, a N, S, E and W. The troupe instantly perceives this to be a word game gone awry and cook up a plan to swap two of the letters so it will read “NEWS” instead of “NESW”, because everyone knows the acronym is “Never Eat Waffles Soggy”.

Oda and THE straw prince move towards the “W” sign. Even though Oda hurries as fast as his ceramic legs will take him, it seems like ages before reaching the metal sign. THE straw prince has already moved ahead and is peeking into one of the high windows of the hovel. It is dark, he is able to make out two large bipeedal forms, both sporting decrepit and impractical schwartzpunk limbs. Oda charges the sign, blade drawn using his signature “Rolling Man Severs The Ankles" attack. The two sign posts are both defenseless against his onslaught and are cleanly cut.

THE straw prince, Shtick & Oda

Meanwhile Shtick has been moving toward the “N” sign where a large bipeedal figure rests against the shack, head bowed, probably asleep. It is at this moment that the metal “W'' falls backward with a loud clang. In less than a na-nuta everyone is awake. Shtick lets loose a fiery spray on the four guards who are converging on him. 

THE straw prince and Oda have picked up the sign and are moving it when four guards reach them. Oda carefully begins explaining how upper management has sent them here to repair the broken arrangement of their colossal letters. Coincidentally, Henry, the leader of this group of schwartzpunk guards, is struck by a strong lapse of judgment and directs his group to help in the switching of the signage.



While this has been going on Shtick and the four guards chasing him circle back to his friends Oda and THE straw prince. In an odd twist of fate, Shtick and Henry have already met. It turns out that the Erkin found Henry, who had burned his hands and feet off in the Oily Morasse and saved his life. The true leader of the guards, Buloo, is overcome by an overwhelming sense of laziness, so turns over the whole thing to Henry after going back to his shack. 

Oda has seen these bipeedal creatures before. They are Swienki who are the unique residents of the R.A.K., or Rotten Apple Kingdom ruled by Tindoro from her ruby throne within the ‘Yon of Ofaz. As everyone pitches in to reattach the swapped signage Oda presses them further for information about the monstrous decaying apple and their camp. Henry explains that they were all in horrible accidents and rescued by Topper, a sentient top hat. The hat created functioning limbs for them all and in gratitude they all joined together to form a special guard unit whose mission was to keep interlopers from reaching the ruby bottle hidden deep inside the giant fruit. When pressed for more details the guards only shrugged their shoulders. Oda tells them that he is friends with Topper and feels that it would be ok for them to go inside the fruit. Shtick tells them further that they are not interlopers. This seems to placate them and the troupe is left to climb up the hill to the mammoth rotted fruit.

Topper

At the top of the sixty foot diameter apple is a ledge where there appears to be an indentation like opening. Shtick powers his flame down to pilot light mode and Oda throws him at the opening. Shtick bounces off the side a few times before Oda is able to hit the opening. Inside the fruit is dark and reeks with the pungent smell of warm cider. Shtick is a creature of magical flame which illuminates the interior enough for him to see all manner of pithy decay inside the hollowed out fruit. Squirming toward him is a several foot long worm sheathed in a tight black and white bands. The larger is tied off much like a sack and the rear end terminates in a small tight spiral. It moves like an inchworm filled with unnaturally jointed bones harvested from another creature. The movements are enough to unhinge one's mind, but the Erkin’s mental state remains unaffected. The creature (known as an “Easterleg”, a name coined after the fact by Klogg Narr in his famous tome “Creatures of ‘Yon”) is hissing out the word “leg...leg...leg” as it drags itself through the slimy innards. Shtick asks it “where is the bottle?”. The creature moves slowly to his leg, as if it wants to swallow it up like a deranged stocking. “Will you help me find the bottle?”. As Shtick allows the creature to slither it’s way up his leg it says “yes...leg...leg”. Just as it begins to conform itself around his leg, a second black and white striped worm appears which seems attracted to his other leg.

"Easterleg"

Once both of the strange creatures have bonded themselves to his legs, they now help him find the bottle buried in the cidery muck filling the giant rotten apple. In much less than a gar-nuta he finds a twenty inch long ruby bottle. He then exits the fruit, black and white striped legs first. The troupe inspect the large red bottle noting a blackish twisted object floating in it’s center. After a short moment of deliberation he gives the bottle to THE straw prince who promptly swallows it.

Shtick  and friends

Join us once the weather turns warmer in my garage for the next exciting chapter!

Here's the Quiz (Each correct answer is worth 1 xp):

1) What do you decide has priority during conflicts? (Port priority)
2) Name a giant song mentioned. (C is for Conifer)
3) How did Shtick run to the shack? (He loped)
4) What is Oda’s special move? (Rolling Man Severs the Ankles)
5) Why shouldn’t you worry? (“Because I have a plan”)
6) Fill in the blanks: “He’s limping ___  ___  ___  ___, no ___  ___!”. (Cut him some slack, after him)
7) Name three of the Swineki: (Anryth, Buloo, Clucky, Dlork, Ellfelly, Fass, Graph and Henry)
8) How do you remember to spell the word “news”? (Using the acronym Never Eat Waffles Soggy)
9) What could strike at any moment?”(Lactose Intolerance)
10) What is the diameter of the apple? (60 feet)

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