Monday, September 28, 2020

Dusty PennGooInn #3 September 6th 2020

Troupe: Varkendor, Gyro, Indus, Halcyon and Philton
Garage Leader: Ro
Medium: Spatially Enhanced RPG (played in my open garage)

In this instalment the players are chastised for not having seen “The Producers”.

A few bored Gnylls are scattered around the tavern. Among them sits a lone Cattoid, ears low, eyes slits. The troupe is still eating breakfast. Boogah has returned after being gone for only a moment. He explains the expedition is short handed and motions toward the swinging doors where two figures are emerging. The taller one may once have been a majestic wizard. At the moment he is a creaky looking mannequin covered with bark and random leaves. The shorter is a squat metallic box with mechanical limbs. Its upper limbs are over long while the lower are too short. Boogah quickly introduces them, “This is Varkendor the Arcanist and Gyro the Robut.” The only push back from the troupe is pressuring Boogah to increase the payment by adding one more swag item (of equal or greater value of a wand of house painting, three coats). As Boogah turns to leave yet again he reminds the group that the meeting with Martin is all set up.

"Strike the Dromadary"

The Cattoid is certain she recognises the Welf. She walks over and introduces herself as Halcyon. The Welf confirms the Cattoids suspicion and explains yesterday she was an Ankhmite, but woke up encased in a giant pod and born this morning as Indus the Arcanist. The Cattoid points out that her skills would be most beneficial to the group. Without a word she is in.

Philton, Gyro and Varkendor meanwhile have been lured to the other end of the tavern by an arcade game with a sign over it reading “Fling the Pith Chopper''. It has a thick ten foot diameter wheel with metal rungs protruding from its surface attached to the wall. Nearby sits a basket filled with leather straps. Three small hatchets are stuck in a stump opposite the giant disc. Philton and Gyro are just about ready to put a few coins in the slot as a mild look of terror appears on Varkendor’s wooden face. The pair slowly realise launching tree killing instruments into the woody flesh of the Arcanists kin would be a little off-putting. Philton tries his skill instead with another device entitled “Pupa’s Revenge”. He mounts the abused looking lepidoptera and slides a sodium piece into the slot. As the machine tries to throw him he wraps his hands around the threadbare antennas. It rotates madly while extending upwards to the ceiling. The Warf apparently has a talent for riding wildly gyrating lepidoptera. Sadly, besting the Pupa is its own reward, the bar offers no monetary payout.

Indus decides to teach Gyro the value of how to become friends by hugging. Gyro is quite literal, thus the concept of friends needs to be explained a few times. Deeming that a success, Indus then teaches him how to “high five” and nearly loses a limb doing so. Feeling emboldened with friendship, she begins to approach random Gnylls. Her advances and various questions only bring out the cold shoulder in these randomly generated creatures. Fooling around with background elements of the setting has finally worn everyone down to the point where someone suggests sending a message to Martin to see if he can meet them early. A perfect menial task for the massive Slave Android of Gor. Martin agrees to meet the troupe outside near the fake bank and reminds them that sales are cash only.

"Slave Android of Gor"

After a break for urination, the group walks forty paces over to the fake bank. Indeed, the words “Fake Bank” are painted clearly on the front. From a distance the clever paint job almost hides the fact that it is completely two dimensional. Philton opens the thin prop door and on the other side Martin is waiting.


Faded orange fur is framed by his futuristic suit harness. Here and there around his body are golden tek implants, with a larger one over his heart. A dozen gold tek insectoids scurry around him, clearly on alert. “Did you bring cash?” he asks in a low smugglers rasp. Everyone nods. The troupe begins listing out stuff: coats, sleeping gear, snow shoes and the like. Martin nods.  A cat paw appears from a tiny floating door and drops a keyring into his open paw. As quickly as it disappears he is flipping various keys in the air in order to unlock numerous color coded pocket lockers. In a short time a dozen large metal doors are yawning open to extradimensional space packed with various gear. It’s clear after getting initial prices that the group cannot possibly afford what they need. Halcyon uses her Cattoid charm on Martin and reluctantly he allows them enough slack so they can at least get the basics.

Pocket Lockers

Join us in my garage for the next exciting chapter!

Here's the Quiz (Each correct answer is worth 1 xp):

1) Name a squeamish intestinal tract aid discussed at length this evening. (Laxitive)
2) What personal question was Varkindoor asked? (“Are you an Oak or Cypress?”)
3) Where does the term “robut” come from? (Gilligan’s Island)
4) What does Marie like to do to make friends? (Pick people up)
5) What don’t I condone? (Running over a young Martha Stewart)
6) Name three movies Zero Mostel was in. (Fiddler on the Roof, A funny thing Happened on the way to the Forum and The Producers)
7) What does the red pill do? (Allow you to see the real world)
8) How much is an unobtanium piece worth? (1,000,001 Hgp)
9) How many fired clay pellets are in a pound? (40)
10) What kind of look did Marty give Halcyon? (The Bobba Fett nod)

3 seconds of nod

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