Sunday, July 29, 2018

'Yon of Ofaz Session #3

Blorgs serving Slorggs:

As the storm outside becomes more intense, the players scuttle into the Blorg homestead, all 12 x 10 square feet of it. The Blorgs are terrifically poor and their sole (or soul) possession (a chip of bone) rests in a place of honor. A white chalk line separates the hovel in half, Muk stands on one side, Dorta on the other. Zlog is in the middle. It’s kinda uncomfortable, both persona space wise and in terms of conversation. Nobodies talks, until Dorta admonishes Muk to heat up some Slorgg stew. When the lid is lifted from the pot, the stench crystals which collect in the nasal passages twist like a quail feather gripped by a mad terrorist. Aromatic pressure imbalances within the eyes cause those failing SNC's to teeter. It's a good stew, seasoned with two Korn kernels. It takes a while for the underlying smell of the abode to return (sweat and a hint of cinnamon). Outside the 100 foot diameter plasmatic balls of chain lightning diminish and fade after a handful of deca-nutas.

Dorta & Muk Blorg
During this calm, Dorta and the Zlog sense that their mud pit of prize winning Slorggs is being menaced from local predators riled up by the storm. All three Blorgs race from the homestead to deal with the issue before the next phase of the storm resumes after a secretive Crypt Lord roll of the dice.  DurBurDuke decides to stay behind and reaches into his Schwartzer Mind Shack to retrieve his faithful slave servant creation Squire. The rest of the troupe and the robut follow close on the heels of the Blorgs as they trot down the meandering lane in the eerie silence towards the mud pit.

The bulk of the troupe, Olga, Oda, Chris-Tle, Fred and the robut Squire hurry down the lane of the Blorg homestead and after nearly a deca-nuta reach the mud pit. The Blorgs stand at the edge, attempting to shoo away two 25 foot long Frill Scorpions who are intent on rooting through the muck to slurp up Slorggs. Even though the creepazoids are ignoring the troupe, they decide to attack these predators. The Blorgs step back in horror while the players advance. They soon learn that the magically enhanced frontal frill of the monsters render them virtually impossible to damage.  One of the two beasts is dispatched, but not before Fred is taken out. Two of the party decide to run away to “fight another day” (note, the Blorgs are already long gone) while Oda and Squire stay to fight. Oda figures out that he can hurl Squire like a grenade at the beasts, using this fighting style they confront the creepazoid head on. It doesn’t take but a few na-nutas for the the hero's to get wiped out.

The Blorgs, Olga and Crys-Tle arrive back at the hovel, DurBurDuke decides to use one of his unfinished inventions from his Mind Shack inventory to save his comrades expiring in the mud. As he uses his rocket boots and gloves to rocket the half mile, he notices that the calm seems to be giving way to the next phase of the storm….the bowling ball sized rain. After much struggling, DurBurDuke revives his slave robut and the Frill Scorpians retreat to avoid the rainstorm. He lashes the defunct terracotta warrior to his kragg board and propels himself back to the homestead using the rockets in his boots and gloves. As the bowling ball sized rain starts to tear up the landscape, DurBurDuke decides it's better to be a hero rather than be practical and runs the gauntlet of Nimbality checks in order to get back to shelter. Its a near thing. When he arrives he finds that the door to the homestead is barred and the muffled voice of Dorta tells him to scram. Not to be deterred he pulls a claw contraption from his Mind Shack and rips the door open. He goes inside, Dorta leaves the hovel in a huff and disappears into the deadly storm. As the massive drops of liquid death pummel the landscape our troupe wonders what their fate will be...

Until next time...

The Quiz

The answers

Typical quote:
DurBurDuke: "This is why I invent be fond of me".
Oda: "I am not fond of you".

Another thing:
I really like a game system that allows for a ? to be put on the line for sex.

Tuesday, July 17, 2018

'Yon of Ofaz Session #2

The Blorgs "welcome" you! (kinda).

"Dorta Blorg"

Last time the players who are aboard the Razor Bait, a floating airship/barge when it veers just a little too close to the The Wall above Bim Tuck Boo. A swarm of razors appears (one of the Wall's automated magical defenses) and slices off the section of the airship that the players are on. They manage to not fall to their deaths and find themselves standing on the other side...the “bad side” in the Aanssk dessert.

Moments after collecting their wits, they make out a lone Gnyll,  nearly a half mile away sprinting towards them. And behind that figure is a host of Gynlls, more of the wolfoid bipeds, who seem intent on catching up to the running figure. The Aanssk dessert is essentially a featureless scrubby waste and opposite the host, several miles away is a small group of homesteads. The troupe decides to move laterally to avoid the running figure. They are too slow and the as the Gnyll gets closer they realize from its wolfoid form that it is a female Gnyll.

Gnyll (V2 CNC)

The Gnyll approaches holding “an artifact”, a sort of rune covered cantaloupe sized Dij-Dart. The Gnyll introduces herself as Gwen and explains that she stole it from the leader of the host now closing on them rapidly. DurBurDuke takes some of the rocket parts scattered around and builds a rough facsimile of the dart, which they wrap in rags and throw as as a decoy so they can run away. This tactic is a complete bust, so DurBurDuke scrambles to build a  “Kragboard” (a sort  of schwartzpunk skateboard) on which he throws his froggy body and scoots away northward, toward the homesteads in the distance.


The rest of the group hides by burying themselves or pretending to be rocks in the dessert. Fred meanwhile,  takes the fake dart, partially wrapped in rags and waits for the Gnylls to close. The Gynlls advance, nearly 30 of them surrounding Fred. The leader, Goo Glopptcha, calls him out to duel. Fred is defeated nearly instantly and falls to a crumpled heap.

Fred Batttez
Odo, the terracotta warrior jumps up to attack, but not before Gwen springs from the sand and assassinates the Gnyll leader from behind pretty much instantly. The players try out their best howls in order to become the new “Alpha” dogs of the host. This is not working so well and a 8 foot tall Gnyll called “Gorfo” (almost frog backwards, but I messed it up) now steps up to claim leadership. Another short fight ensues, Gorfo goes down, the new leader is Oda, but Oda says to listen to Gwen, which is not at all confusing. The Gnylls were tilting their heads back and forth trying to follow it all by asking a lot of slow questions. The slower part of the host finally catches up to the group, the Slave Wunder Wheels and Androids of Gor who are towing skids with catapults that launch these blue glowing orb things. The frog decides to launch himself forward, it works a bit, 300 ft at about 8 ft off the ground. Meanwhile, Fred has been brought back by some slapping around by Olga.

Olga...just Olga
Players notice that it's getting very still and there is a lot of static electricity sparking around. Gwen relates that the storms are coming, Plasma balls rising up from the ground, bowling ball sized raindrops and of course Tarnados. The troupe decides to split into two groups (I hate it when they do that), Gwen and the Frog DurBurDuke (on his “Kragboard”) can get to the north homestead in 20 minutes, the rest of the group will be 70 Mi-nutas behind. After the Gnyll and Frog leave, the slow group realizes they have an Arcanist and can teletransport right up to where they want to be instantly. This fall on Chris-tle, who nervously writes down where he and the group are going to land.

This works out, the slow group supersedes the fast one to materialize in a small barn. The barn is tilted, once outside they see the structure is attached to a large stone that is itself connected to the ground by 6 large anchor chains. There is Korn growing in large urns, also chained to the ground. They hear voices arguing and around the corner comes Muk Blorg, a rather colorful “Hume” laborer type.

"Muk Blorg"
Muk says some odd and possibly rude things to the players, who are thinking it might be a good idea to pass on the whole shelter thing and ride the storm out. However they are persuaded by Muk’s smooth talking Zlog (a three eyed quadruped) that the Blogs are good “people” and join them in the house to ride out the storm.

Fortunately, the other members of the troupe show at this point as a 60 ft. diameter plasma ball rises from the ground one hundred feet away and lightning bolts from the angry sky start ricocheting around. The homestead is quite small. Once inside they notice a white paint line divides the space in half...

L to R: DurBurDuke, Fred Batttez, Olga, Odo Michimitsu, Gwendolyn and Chris Tle. The plaid couch is NOT for sale.