Troupe: Wheeze, Chum, Floyed and Meep. Dardigalish, Halcyon and Ivern decide to poke around the ancient library in the mansion's first floor (Note, this is how I deal with absent players. I don’t like having extra empty bodies around. Players should not have any more resources than what is at the table).
Garage Jesus: Ro*
Medium: Spatially Enhanced RPG (played in my open garage)
*Alternative for Crypt Lord, Basement Leader or Garage Leader
Mission accomplished, swag in hand, our troupe is now on board Leendah’s marvelous skiff awaiting her return. Meep has the folded scrap of paper and Wheeze has the pre-nup scroll. To pass time Wheeze decides to fiddle with the beak on a stick. He points it at random and speaks some magical gibberish. He is only able to coax a feeble pop out of the device. The troupe members all start getting interested in the stick with a beak on it all of the sudden and start squabbling over it. Woodness and Schwing look on in amused disgust. Crypt openers...they are just randomly generated scum after all. In the end the stick with beak changes hands a few times until Chum trades it to Wheeze for the swordelle with the clock on it’s hilt. Hey, is Meep a little taller than the last time?
"Meep" (by Meep, self portrait)
Meep decides to try out it’s interpersonal skills on Schwing. The awkward conversation immediately turns to calisthenics and Leendah’s guard challenges Meep to a push-up battle. Meep was literally born yesterday and politely asks Schwing to do one first because it doesn’t know what one is. Chum wants in on this action and in less than a na-nuta all three of them are on the floor.
Leendah appears suddenly and immediately scolds the trio. The entry door dissolves into the wall and the skiff noiselessly departs. The red haired Arcanist skips the small talk. “Let’s talk about our arrangement, shall we? Do you have my paper and scroll?” Everyone in the troupe starts talking, eventually Wheeze self elects to speak more or less for everyone. “Where are the others?” (sometimes people don’t make every game and in this case the players who ran Dardigalish, Halcyon and Ivern were not present. A plot device is created to explain why their characters are not present. In this case Leendah says that she telatransported them back to the Dusty Penngooinn. However, later the Garage Jesus* changes this and the aforementioned crypt openers have been shrunk down and are relaxing in a tiny matchstick lounge). Woodness and Schwing sit at the ready, patiently like two bored gunfighters.
Wheeze says “I have really been thinking about stealing this skiff”. There is a nano-pause. Leendah smiles, making her cute freckles appear sinister. “I can understand that, but that would be a very bad idea. I am certain there would be no survivors''. Wheeze really is being cool headed and explains that maybe as part of their reward she would let him fly the skiff for a deca-nuta or so. After much explanations to Chum in regards to whether this would affect his share of the swag payment for performing the mission, Leendah agrees to hand over the skiffs controls for 5 mi-nutas. She passes him the rubicon control orb while explaining that your thoughts are used to direct the vessels movements. Wheeze is able to “see” the landscape whizzing by. He tries to get the ship to perform a loop, but is only able to put the ship into a steep climb. Inside the G forces are cancelled by hidden magics. Leendah half assumes that they were up to something. Newbies always are.
On cue, Chum pulls out a framed print of the Eiffel tower (I don’t recall where they got that from, IKEA perhaps), steps over to the bulkhead and like Buster Keaton attempts to hang it on a non-existent nail. Leendah knows this is meant to be a distraction. The only reason she falls for it is because Chum spends four Pith (a type of xp) to make it work. Meanwhile, Wheeze has put his hand behind his back in order to use his sneak ability (zethersnatching) to find a monolocazoid, allowing his hand to appear in another location. Finding a monolocazoid doesn’t always work, so he also expends four Pith to make sure it does. His hand appears behind Leendah and drops a “sneaky ball” creating a pit underneath both her and one her bodyguards, Woodness. Both are instantly sucked out through the opening. The four players now only have to deal with Schwing.
Blue Boldie
Schwing is the smaller of the two Corellian boildies, but however wields a powerful dagger of upheaval which can rend one's soul for damage up to fifty points. In the twenty four second long melee Wheeze and Meep are knocked down to zero PHP and revived. Just before the fourth na-nuta begins Schwing has been mightily whittled down. It looks as if the players have pulled off the craziest of plans.
But it is not to be. In the fourth round Leendah pops up through the hole and empties the entire clip of her AK-47 into the cabin. There are no survivors and the first TPK in many years.
Join us in my garage for the next exciting chapter!
Here's the Quiz (Each correct answer is worth 1 xp):
1) Where would you keep achievements if you killed someone? (In your eyes of course)
2) What makes every joke funnier? (Writing them down)
3) Stick had what on end? (Penguin beak)
4) What is the magic word I said this evening? (Nishkabob)
5) What shouldn’t you have flown? (Economy)
6) What diameter is the Rubicon control orb? (1.5 inches)
7) What did I write and forget? (Larva lamp)
8) Where does “Leendah” come from? (A Chevy Chase Doritos commercial)
9) What is the acronym for the rule where you can’t touch something blue? (L.A.R., or Live Action Rule)
10) What did Meep create this evening? (A pocket)
Meep
Wheeze
Chum
Floyd
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