'Yon of Ofaz Session # 9

Yes, Moisturizing Your Erasers is a Little Weird...

"City of Diamonds"

DurBurDuke, Lyn and Squire have had their fill of the so called “City of Diamonds”. As the massive 40 foot door on it's side un-yawns to a close, (leaving Robin and Simon to work out their own fate among the shiny hallways and Jacksonesque minions) they move as quickly as they can back to the safety of the Blorg homestead. This is the dead calm before the first phase of the storm. Lyn who has weathered at least 12 such weather events recalls that the average time of this first dead calm lasts 30 minutes. Moving at 120 feet per na-nuta puts their ETA at 50 minutes. Both Lyn and DBD notice that their bodies both have changed. Lyn is a full foot taller now and 100 ulbs heavier. DBD is also taller and heavier. Lyn’ fur is grayer, DBD is sprouting odd clumps of hair. Squires, the roboservant appears unchanged.

Lyn, Sqire and DBD. Look how clean the table is!

The trip back is uneventful, the calm is holding. The front door to the homestead is shut, no one is around. DurBurDuke politely knocks on the door. There is no reaction or sound from inside. However, both Lyn and DBD’s sense of smell has increased to such an extent that they can smell 13 zlogs inside. DBD unlocks the door, Squire goes in and scans the area with his flashlight eyes. Completely empty. Squire goes to the bathroom (an addition) and sees a tail peeking out of the rafters up above. He attempts to scramble up between the two walls, but falls with one foot in the commode. DBD comes in and in a loud voice addresses the hidden zlogs, informing them he knows they are there and what are they doing. The resident zlog (“Zlog”) says “they are having a meeting”. The troupe (mindful of the coming storm) suggests they have their get together in the barn. The zlogs hustle out.

The first plasma ball bursts from the ground and explodes in a ricochet of lightning bolts as the troupe secures the door. They search the tiny hovel, finding nothing, not even a hat. There is no food and the stove is cold. Squire volunteers to brave the plasma storm and goes outside to pick eight ears of Korn. The slave machine gets back unmolested and the troupe feasts on boiled Korn. Even Squire wants to “eat” and puts the Korn to his mouth slot.

Nearly a full gar-nuta passes and the plasma phase of the storm transitions to the second dead calm before the bowling ball sized rain. A short time passes and there is a knock at the door and a rattlely old voice saying “can you please help? Our wagon wheel has fallen off and I’m worried about my baby”. To which the troupe replies “why should we believe you”?  DBD throws together a quick periscope and snakes it out the tiny window to discover that the voice is coming from a group of 12 Urks. The troupe now tries a different tack and says “we don’t have anything and you should try the Blotts up the road”.

This makes the Urks more determined than ever, so they all start banging on and shaking the tiny stone shack. After all, it can weather the storms and Tarnodos, what are a few pesky Urks gonna do?  Besides, their stupid.

They wail away like heavy metal rockers for many a long deca-nuta. There is a pause after which the the troupe hears them focus their destructive attention onto the addition to the hovel, the tiny wooden bathroom. An outer wall was opened to add the modern convenience of a pour and release plumbing commode in a smart little wooden addition. These timbers are being systematically ripped away by the angry band of Urks and the troupe knows it is only a matter of time before they are going to be inside. DBD fashions another radio controlled explosive device. Next, DBD puts Squire’s head unit into a giant spherical fighting robut (called the "Wrecking Ball") which is then released outside to dispatch the Urks. No problemo.

The "Wrecking Ball"

Squire is quite powerful in the massive metal fighting machine and is able to smash a few of the Urks. But, in a couple of na-nutas, the Urk force is peeling away the fighting machines PHP systematically. From the discussions about whether Squire’s programming has been backed up illustrates that the troupe has come to grips with Urk numerical reality. Lyn puts on DBD’s rocket suit, grabs the not so tiny Frubber and rockets out the front door to safety. Circling the Blorg homestead they see that Squire is resting motionless and the Urks are posing on his hulk snapping victory pics with pocket orbs to share on The Social Medium.

Join us next time...

BTW, Pith has been updated to work better and the title of this session comes from one of the many interesting topics of conversation that can only be had playing Crypts-N-Creepies.

FORWARD to session #10...

...or go BACK to session #8...