'Yon of Ofaz Session # 9

Yes, Moisturizing Your Erasers is a Little Weird...

"City of Diamonds"

DurBurDuke, Lyn and Squire have had their fill of the so called “City of Diamonds”. As the massive 40 foot door on it's side un-yawns to a close, (leaving Robin and Simon to work out their own fate among the shiny hallways and Jacksonesque minions) they move as quickly as they can back to the safety of the Blorg homestead. This is the dead calm before the first phase of the storm. Lyn who has weathered at least 12 such weather events recalls that the average time of this first dead calm lasts 30 minutes. Moving at 120 feet per na-nuta puts their ETA at 50 minutes. Both Lyn and DBD notice that their bodies both have changed. Lyn is a full foot taller now and 100 ulbs heavier. DBD is also taller and heavier. Lyn’ fur is grayer, DBD is sprouting odd clumps of hair. Squires, the roboservant appears unchanged.

Lyn, Sqire and DBD. Look how clean the table is!

The trip back is uneventful, the calm is holding. The front door to the homestead is shut, no one is around. DurBurDuke politely knocks on the door. There is no reaction or sound from inside. However, both Lyn and DBD’s sense of smell has increased to such an extent that they can smell 13 zlogs inside. DBD unlocks the door, Squire goes in and scans the area with his flashlight eyes. Completely empty. Squire goes to the bathroom (an addition) and sees a tail peeking out of the rafters up above. He attempts to scramble up between the two walls, but falls with one foot in the commode. DBD comes in and in a loud voice addresses the hidden zlogs, informing them he knows they are there and what are they doing. The resident zlog (“Zlog”) says “they are having a meeting”. The troupe (mindful of the coming storm) suggests they have their get together in the barn. The zlogs hustle out.

The first plasma ball bursts from the ground and explodes in a ricochet of lightning bolts as the troupe secures the door. They search the tiny hovel, finding nothing, not even a hat. There is no food and the stove is cold. Squire volunteers to brave the plasma storm and goes outside to pick eight ears of Korn. The slave machine gets back unmolested and the troupe feasts on boiled Korn. Even Squire wants to “eat” and puts the Korn to his mouth slot.

Nearly a full gar-nuta passes and the plasma phase of the storm transitions to the second dead calm before the bowling ball sized rain. A short time passes and there is a knock at the door and a rattlely old voice saying “can you please help? Our wagon wheel has fallen off and I’m worried about my baby”. To which the troupe replies “why should we believe you”?  DBD throws together a quick periscope and snakes it out the tiny window to discover that the voice is coming from a group of 12 Urks. The troupe now tries a different tack and says “we don’t have anything and you should try the Blotts up the road”.

This makes the Urks more determined than ever, so they all start banging on and shaking the tiny stone shack. After all, it can weather the storms and Tarnodos, what are a few pesky Urks gonna do?  Besides, their stupid.

They wail away like heavy metal rockers for many a long deca-nuta. There is a pause after which the the troupe hears them focus their destructive attention onto the addition to the hovel, the tiny wooden bathroom. An outer wall was opened to add the modern convenience of a pour and release plumbing commode in a smart little wooden addition. These timbers are being systematically ripped away by the angry band of Urks and the troupe knows it is only a matter of time before they are going to be inside. DBD fashions another radio controlled explosive device. Next, DBD puts Squire’s head unit into a giant spherical fighting robut (called the "Wrecking Ball") which is then released outside to dispatch the Urks. No problemo.

The "Wrecking Ball"

Squire is quite powerful in the massive metal fighting machine and is able to smash a few of the Urks. But, in a couple of na-nutas, the Urk force is peeling away the fighting machines PHP systematically. From the discussions about whether Squire’s programming has been backed up illustrates that the troupe has come to grips with Urk numerical reality. Lyn puts on DBD’s rocket suit, grabs the not so tiny Frubber and rockets out the front door to safety. Circling the Blorg homestead they see that Squire is resting motionless and the Urks are posing on his hulk snapping victory pics with pocket orbs to share on The Social Medium.

Join us next time...

BTW, Pith has been updated to work better and the title of this session comes from one of the many interesting topics of conversation that can only be had playing Crypts-N-Creepies.

FORWARD to session #10...

...or go BACK to session #8...

'Yon of Ofaz Session #8

Your Collar Awaits:

Pretty!

Everyone falls asleep eventually. It brings rejuvenation and, “oh look now we are wearing these cool new collars”. They are a thin metal band (strange, no clip or fastener) and a dull translucent red triangle on the front.

A note on the players present. Our story of the exploration of the “City Of Diamonds” continues with Lyn, DurBurDuke and his faithful roboservant Squires. Many of the players are now away at college. The way I run, if an owning player isn’t present to play their character, a plot device is created to explain this. I don’t let players play more than one persona at a time so that there aren’t “extras” hanging around in the group (so called hirelings, or trap fodder). So, if your wondering why I’m not recording what Fred, Topper, Mortimer and Chris-Tle are doing, it's because they are getting a higher education. 

Left to right: Lyn, Robin, Simon, DBD and Squires.

DurBurDuke (DBD)  instructs his roboservant to attempt to try and remove its collar. No luck, the collar has been riveted to the machines metal neck and slipping out of it only activates a hidden mechanism which causes all wearers of the devices to be stunned and writhe in agony. DurBurDuke then commands the robot to crush the triangular device on the band around his neck. The faithful servitor puts his robot claw to his master’s neck and begins squeezing. The red triangle  cracks and gets white hot. Before it can burn a hole through his throat the roboservant tosses it to the floor where it melts. Without pausing, work begins on removal of the roboservants collar.

Robin Froth

Simon Snakeman

Meanwhile, a pair of Smorkk Back Checkers* have teletransported into the complex via a TSL* (Teleportal Seed Link) attached to one of the “City of Diamonds” many victims. The first is a Hume dressed much like the ninja (page 13 of the core rule book) who calls herself Robin Froth. The other is Humanoid shaped bag of 101 snakes calling himself Simon Snakeman. This creature pines to become “a real boy”. These two have a history together as competitors in the the hit crystal orb show “Freedonian Ninja”. Allegedly, Simon lost to Robin because she cheated. But, bygones are bygones and they are now friends working together for Smorkk* collecting unpaid product delivery. Shortly after appearing Lyn (the Gynll) enters the room. After some quick introductions they all decide to go up a few levels in the futuristic complex and meet up with the rest of the troupe.

* Smorkk, Smorkk Back Checkers & TSL

The three press the chime on DurBurDukes door. They find the two making various plans to get the remaining collar off Squires, the robot butler. They only have a few moments of peace before four red and black leather clad minions show up behind them, all holding open collars to place onto the bare necks of the newbies. A struggle breaks out, the minions of Mamiss are blasted by an EMP gun, bitten by at least one snake and another is sucked into a magical bag. Simon uses the miracle Blow Smoke to cause confusion so they can all run into the egg shaped elevator. Upon reaching the main floor, they exit into the main work space. It is filled with a gigantic folded up conveyance measuring 40x40x120 ft. It has two 40 foot diameter wheels and gingerbread styling like the kind typically found on a 1860’s era steamboat. As the group skulks around, Mamiss glides in on her boot jets, followed by six of her leather clad and helmited minions, all holding collars of obedience. DBD steps out, points the EMP weapon at the folded up machine and says “Let us leave or I’ll destroy your invention”.

Mamiss

Mamiss laughs not unlike Peter Lorre on an opium kick (page 5 of the core rule book). She invites DBD to destroy the machine. She wonders aloud if he has the guts to destroy something so beautiful. Finally she offers the group the chance to pilot the machine in a test run across the mighty Aanssk Desert. The troupe mulls the offer offer over for a few seconds and DBD answers “no, we just want to leave". Mamiss is somewhat disappointed and disgusted. The huge 40 foot door on the side of the pyramid slowly rises as Mamiss and the minions turn and disappear. Outside a new storm is brewing. It is unclear how much time there is until the plasma balls begin rising from the ground and exploding in ricocheting electrical bolts. (For the proper effect insert a random # of groans here). DBD and Squires jump onto the Krag board and head back towards the Blorg homestead. Lyn follows. The two newbies, Simon and Robin decide to stay within the mighty pyramid.

Until next time!

(Below are my further notes on Smorkk:)

FORWARD link to Session #9

or

BACKWARD to session #7