Vakka

Current campaign of 2023. Live in Chicago and want to play?

Email me at basementleader@gmail.com.

Vakka is a prototype mobile pastry factory built by Wonly Wilka, owner of Wonly Wilka Inc., a producer of various pastries and confections. In focus gangs Wonly discovered that among the 7 - 26 year old demographic of Fooburg the usage of braziers has eclipsed that of traditional cookware. With this data, Wonly launched Brazier Tarts, a new brand of instantaneous pastries which rapidly gained market share.

Monly Wilka

The leader in the instantaneous pastry space is Pot Tarts, an evergreen brand that has been around for generations. Twenty four months ago Shoop, a young Bulukian, took over running this company from a conglomerate of upheavalist non-bipeedal religions who wished instead to focus their energy on fostering an impending apocalypse. Shoop reduced the number of flavors and upgraded the sawdust (used as filler) increasing shareholder value. Pot Tarts however still needed to be cooked in a special pot.

Shoop

Pot Tarts

Upon introduction Brazier Tarts came in four flavors, Pickled Blowhole, Luscious “Lic Pudding, Sweet Sap Loops, and Blancmange. Unfortunately, with the arrival of the C19 pandemic their number one selling flavor, Blancmange, floundered as consumers feared that they might sound “too French” and find themselves forcibly deported from Fooburg.

Wonly concocted a scheme to create both a fresh new flavor and marketing plan to sell it. Thus, Vakka was born. Vakka is modeled after an ancient Urth city state known as “Eetalllee” where an old “Human” known as “Rennay Uhsance” spawned a vast consumer goods industry of bulletproof glass and pop-up self-help tomes. Vakka is a small campus of buildings which harken back to this lost age of Urth’s past. Behind the stone facades is a modern automated factory capable of producing small runs of uniquely flavored Brazier Tarts. Stona Lisa is Wonleys onsite manager who oversees production. All that was needed was a group of ambassadors to distribute the product.

Golden tickets were randomly placed into Brazier Tart boxes inviting winners to Wonley’s Fooburg factory for a free tour. Stona enticed winners to join the Brazier Tart team and travel thousands of miles west to Tarta, a small island in the Whirlettes. Here they would distribute new flavors of Brazier Tarts in a marketing campaign designed unseat Pot Tarts as the leader in the instantaneous tart market. To do this all they had to do was board Vakka and float away.

Vakka

Vakka Described

Upon first glance Vakka looks like an elaborate 1/10th scale model measuring 15 x 15 x 15 feet. However, it has powerful mechanisms that reduce objects that get close to it to 1/10th of their normal size, thus becoming 1:1 with the model. Thusly scaled, the rocky base measures 130 x 130 feet. The prototype tart factory complex is a collection of “Eetallleeian” buildings whose foundations rest on the rocky slab which is smooth on top. The underside is tastefully textured with natural looking rocks and crags. Six structures surround a 100 foot tall tower which Stona Lisa uses as her residence. In compliance with ancient engineering principals, the tower is constructed at a 3.99 degree angle to offset the forces of Urth’s rotation. Lisa’s tower is in the center of a plaza along with two other teknological schwartzer marvels, a Size-o-Meter and Arch ‘de Piccard. The former is a contraption that monitors and continuously adjusts the relative scales of everything. The Arch houses a storage area for polygons stowed in drawers and an automated polygoning mekanism. A pond system rings the plaza stocked with steam koi which perform informational tasks and are a component of the water sac providing lift and mobility. There are small stones walking around which are under the control of Stona. She has the ability to construct any number of body forms from the stones and move her consciousness between them.

Map, Top View

There are elaborate stairs leading up to the plaza from ground level next to the fountain house. This fountain is an elaborate affair featuring geysers of water that shoot from carved crabboid maids. In the back are tart shaped rocks supporting an open half shell on which stands a beautifully sculpted goddess with unnaturally curling hair. Nearby is the grand music building with an open second floor. Various musical instruments float around the space as a 5 foot stone ball slowly rolls around the floor. There is a dormitory which has 30 foot windows depicting divine pastries and a majestic koi pond inside. A pilot house houses delicate machinery for navigation and flight controls. The main factory building has the dough kneader, pressure cooker, tart maker and mental flavor extractor, all of which are automated. A conveyor belt links the factory to the garage, where tarts are auto loaded into tartmobiles. These vehicles are intended to exit Vakka and deliver Brazier Tarts to waiting consumers.