Forbidden Knowledge

Necro-Donn (model by J. McB)
Crypts-N-Creepies is a Schwartzpunk Fantasy Adventure RPG set in a dark future drenched in savagery. It is your duty to solve problems of swag removal from hidden underground tombs. The ruling class constantly drains the economy by burying loot in secret crypts. The location, diagrams of construction, types of egress and rumors of guardians and contents is Forbidden Knowledge.  As a player your goal is to find these hidden areas, open them up for inspection and remove swag product for economic reinsertion. Are you pithy enough?

An interview with C-N-C's creator by Qubilah588
published in Limp Mind Palace #3 

Q: "There are a lot of fantasy games out there. Would you say yours offers something different or...better?"
R: "Is it really better? Maybe. Let's say differently challenged. It would be like asking why Indiana Jones is better than Doc Savage. Or why Dali is better than Magritte. Or Kleenex better than toilet paper. Yup. My game is way more like toilet paper. My wife still talks about how I never used Kleenex."
Q: Well, what is something that's different?
R: Combat doesn't use tables to figure out what you need to hit. It's a lot faster. Realism? Fantasy combat is not realistic. Some folks might make that claim, but it's a chimera. I all have all new miracles and spells and none of that "memorization" nonsense. Why are MU's weak? It's an artifact from Chainmail. I wanted my spell users to be able to slug it out with the Slashmongers. Why should I play a game just to be punished?
Q: Oh come on.
R: Who would choose a fantasy world of limitations for limitations sake? It's typical Gygaxian logic. In D&D doors are stuck. You have to use your Strength to see if they can be pulled open. OK. Oh, wait a minute, they open automatically for monsters. We used to do this thing all the time when the players would go into a bar there would be a tiny table with tiny chairs with a bunch of rats sitting around drinking. They would taunt the players "hey you want some doors opened?" And they would laugh their asses off. It's all just rules. So I wrote my own.     
Q: "Did you ever try to sell your game?"
R: "Sure, I approached a bunch of companies at shows and stuff. I asked them if they were interested in an FRP. They usually backed away like I had the plague. I'm used to that."
Q: "Your game seems like a parody."
R: "Is that a question? Are you mocking me? (Laughs) I guess it kinda started that way, at first. More mocking. Yes. I was just so fed up with all the seriousness that TSR was into then. It was too much. I felt like all they wanted was my money. So I made my own thing. It started out very derivative to be sure...but over time it changed into it's own unique thing"
Q: "I didn't realise it wasn't new. When did you start it?"
R: "New, old really. It's only been out in public for a few years. 1987. Yes...I know...I know, again my wife used to needle me all the time about it. Did you know she is the one who came up with "Basements & Lizards"? Being the Basement Leader was her idea. The sincerest form of love. I think."


  1. Nice, Cool, Amazing. I'm going to head out right now to look for some of this "Forbidden Knowledge." But its quite chilling outside, got any tips to help me keep warm? I don't want to freeze whilst fighting off a couple.... "Rodents"

    1. Tips to keep warm: (roll a d6: 1) Stay indoors, 2) wear protective gear, 3) start fire, 4) flask, 5) muscular exertion, 6) move to sunny clime. I understand sharpened sticks are good to fight off "Gargo-rodentia". The core rulebook is currently not downloadable, however if you want one ("want" is a strong word for sure), I can hook you up with a link.

    2. Rolled a 1. how quaint, I guess this was inevitable. I found a map I left for myself "hidden" in a cupboard. Now off to explore my laundry room for fun, adventure and a good use of my time. Glad to say however I was quite warm due to the air conditioning, and the hot coco. Luckily enough I didn't encounter any of those Gargo rodents in my laundry room. However I did encounter some normal ones. Good a time as any to get rabies shots I suppose...

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